When I cut you out of my life, I wasn't trying to play hard to get. I really just want you to leave me alone...

...not because I hate you, though, despite all the horrible things you did. It's because if I don't get away from you, I might not ever get over you.

I hate cigarettes but I think it's so fuckin' sexy when people blow the smoke out of their mouths.

That's yet another reason you're not right for me, but I can't help wanting you.

i care about everyone in my life so much. i wish they would show that they care about me too.

i'm planning the rest of my life out with you. you just don't know it yet.

You always say the right things. We're perfect together. We talk about our future all the time. Why is it that I'm waiting for you to mess up and break my heart?

I've been posting more comments to secrets on this site- because it was such a relief to know someone was with me when they commented on my own secret.

You are the best person I've ever met. When I'm with you I feel like my world is complete. There's no where else I'd rather be. When we're apart I feel like something is missing from my life. You're my best friend and you make me better. I wish I could tell you this in person. I know you don't feel the same but every night before bed I make a wish that one day you will.

We both know we've grown apart since then, and maybe I burned you before because I couldn't handle it. But now that I'm making a real effort at it, it feels like you don't care anymore. It makes me want to just drop it all again.

Comment here to submit a secret 4/15/08

I secretly hate UNC-CH. I'd rather be in Raleigh.

i really wish that you were scared of losing me, but honestly i think you believe i'll just wait forever.

and i'm afraid you might be right.

I always hated my job. The only reason I stayed there so long was to see you every day.

I text people just so they will respond. Every time it says "1 new message" I feel important.

I feel kinda bad for all you people who don't have a clue what to do when they graduate. But I know exactly what I'm doing and I can't wait to start!

I still can't figure out why you never cared.

I wake up ridiculously early on days that we have class together so I have more time to get ready.

I can't sleep unless I put up a secret before I go to bed - it's usually something that's been racking my head all day, but I can't tell anyone. If I don't put one up, I toss and turn for at least two hours thinking about it.

I'm getting tired of religion. I feel so fake.

why can't I ever say anything intelligent around you??? No wonder you don't seem interested.

I love you. But I don't know if I can be with you if you don't try. If you don't communicate. If you don't express that you feel the same way.

You seem undeserving. If you want me, show me. If not, I will have to leave you even after how much I have told you that I love you and want to make it work.

I go to the UL on days I feel pretty, just so I can be seen and admired.

I thought people made life-long friends in college. I've been here for years and I still don't consider anyone I've met here a true friend.

I thought I had a circle that I could trust, but I realized I couldn't after an incident last year. I guess asking for loyalty and acceptance is too much these days.

My feet are disgusting. I have about four hammer toes and countless blisters. It makes me feel so ugly.

It's not much of a secret that I really like you. And even though you have a girlfriend, I can feel your interest in me. Other people can see it. I don't know her, but I feel so sure that I could be good for you, maybe better.

If only.

Your Thoughts on the UNC-CH Secrets Project 2008

We've been getting some comments about the blog itself that we'd love to share, but they don't count as secrets proper. This post is set up so you can offer comments or suggestions regarding this project and the direction in which you'd like to see it move. As always, you can also contact us at uncchsecrets@gmail.com with your ideas.

We look forward to hearing from you.

The Moderators

Sometimes it feels like this site isn't real, like I'm the only one who knows about it and reads it. But then tonight I saw someone in a computer lab browsing it, and now I feel more even more connected to it.

I'm failing 2 of my classes this semester. One of them is crucial to my career.
I've never failed anything before in my life.

I frequently have the urge to run in front of a truck or bus on Airport Rd.

I didn't feel bad about cheating on my last ex as long as the people I hooked up with agreed not to tell.

Comment here to submit a secret 4/14/08

I want to know what it's like to look someone in the eye, tell them you're going to kick their ass, and then do it

i can't tell you how many times i've walked into your room hoping you'd kiss me before i left.


i wish you'd quit the bullshit and just take a chance on me.

I always told my younger brother he had ADD because he was tested for it and ended up being gifted instead. Now I think it may be the other way around. I sit down to do work and nothing happens...

I saw you the other day and you were stunning, I can't help but wonder if you like men too...

I only pick on you because I like you so much.

You make me act like a pathetic 10 year old boy.

Things are starting to go down just like they did before...and this time, I'm trying to hold on tightly because there's no one else on the other side. I don't know if this is making it better or worse, and I'm afraid of making the same mistakes.

I'm jealous of my friends and their love lives. I really want to find someone. Where are you?

I feel inferior to most people. They get recognized for things and no one seems to see what I do. It makes me depressed most of the time.

Is it weird that I am proud this forum started on my birthday?

You want to be my friend way more than I want to be yours. It makes me feel fake.

I steal stuff from the dining halls... silverware, food, dishware.. becase if I am going to pay almost $10 a meal for crap I won't eat, you better damn well believe I am going to get my money's worth.

i love everything about carolina- it was my first choice... but when i visit my boyfriend at his ivy league school i cannot help but feel inferior and ashamed... i know his friends look down on me.

I wish you wasn't so freaking attracted to you. I know it isn't going anywhere but I can't get you off my mind.

i can't stop thinking about sex in church

I'm so ready to graduate, because I don't know how many more hopeful Saturday afternoons and disappointed Sunday mornings I can take.

had a vivid sex dream about you. was drunk when i had it. in real life and in the dream. you seduced me and i let it happen. it was amazing.


please don't ever let this happen. would not be healthy for our respective significant others.

Comment here to submit a secret 4/13/08

At least once a week, I get the urge to run away into the woods at night and start a new life.

um...I hope he knows I'm only attracted to him physically, and I don't really want to like him. Because that's just awkward. He does have a gorgeous smile, though.

I just can't seem to believe that you like me for what I am now. I feel fat and ugly. Even though you seem happy to tell everyone that I'm your girlfriend, I just don't believe it. I promise you I'll be perfect. I want to be perfect for you.

all they can talk about is how much we're going to miss each other, but I'm pretty sure I won't speak to my roommates again after graduation.

I prefer to be on top, not only because it feels better, but because his stomach doesn't stick out as much. I want to tell him to start working out and caring more about his body, but I don't want to hurt his feelings or make it seem that I'm being shallow. But honestly, it's going to ruin our sex life if he doesn't start...

I never understood the expression "my heart dropped into my stomach" until i saw you tonight on franklin street...

i can't STAND my roommate anymore. the pigsty that is our room, people refusing to clean anything and take trash out, it's disgusting. not to mention the friends that are ALWAYS here. but we somehow still do that sweet, 'pretend-to-like-each-other' thing.

i'm not sure i can make it last these last few weeks!

think I pretty much failed my first semester, but I don't have the nerve to tell my parents the truth. And every time I have to ask them for money for food, I feel even more guilty because I don't think I earned anything from them. What hurts most is knowing I failed myself, because in my mind, failure is never an option, punishable by death (unless you are a coward, like me, then it's just excessive brooding...)

I'm terrified that I'll turn out like my mother. She is an amazing woman, but she is trapped. And I never want to be trapped. Ever.

i'm annoyingly conscientious in public about recycling and turning off dripping taps to make up for the fact that i use obscene amounts of toilet paper and take hour-long showers in private

Comment here to submit a secret 4/12/08

Sometimes I feel as if no one really cares. As if I'm not attractive enough, good enough, smart enough, anything. I feel like if I looked better, I could feel more complete.

I know I'm not ugly, but I have huge self-esteem problems that I just can't get over.

Isn't that sad?

Even though I've been driving for over 5 years, changing lanes still terrifies me.

i only think about you when i'm not doing anything else. with the others, thoughts of them would overwhelm me completely and constantly.

i still think i like you though... maybe it's a quiet kind of attraction. or maybe you're just an easy fix for my boredom?

I do not know if I truly like you as much as I think that I do, or if I just reach out whenever I think you're drifting away. I don't like to lose. I've been playing this game with people's hearts for far too long.

I don't look like one of 'those girls' but sometimes I am. I like it.

I dont know if i trust my boyfriend

sometimes my boyfriend makes me feel stupid, ignorant, worthless, and whoreish.

he has no idea that he does it and would be devastated if i told him, but i feel so inadequate.

I'm glad I didn't kiss you last night.



(though a tiny little part of me wishes I had)

kind of wish you would ask me if that secret is mine, so I can finally be completely honest with you and stop trying to "protect" you. I know you read this.

It makes me so sad that she's so unhappy and I could make her so happy if only I had the nerve to ask her.

Comment here to submit a secret 4/11/08

Because I have chosen to wait to have sex, I’m afraid I won’t find someone or will eventually have to give in at the cost of hurting myself. I hate that I feel so alone with this decision.

I am the only white person in my close circle of friends. I love all of them, they're awesome people and I would never want to replace them...but I do wish I had more white friends. I kinda miss hanging out with people like me.

I've never had no strings attached sex but I want to so badly.

i'm late to class so much because i masturbate so much

I have an extreme phobia of wetting the bed. So after about 7, I don't drink anything, and I stay up really late to make sure I don't need to pee before I go to sleep.

I've been having way too many sex dreams recently. Maybe it's just that time of year. It's just awkward having a vivid sex dream about someone that you are friends with and then seeing them on campus or whatever

I made out with my roommate. We are pretending it never happened! I wonder how long that will last.

I only think about a new person because it's much less painful than thinking about the old one.

A man touched me and tried to kiss me on Franklin Street. Nobody took me seriously, so I tried to convince myself it was just a joke- it wasn't a joke.

Sometimes I want to just stop being friends with you because of the crappy way you treat me. But for some reason I still adore you in spite of everything you do.

I hate how much control you have over me.

Comment here to submit a secret 4/10/08

I'm being pursued by this girl in whom I am not interested but I'm okay with it because I feel like I'm the attractive guy in an independent romance movie that the girl likes at the beginning before meeting the quirky protagonist and learning a lesson about life and love.

Ever since I graduated and moved away, I feel like all my friends have forgotten about me. Especially you

we broke up after such a short time. I didn't love you when we were together, but I've fallen for you now that we're apart. I took a chance on the "Nice Guy," but it was ME who finished last.

I still think I see you on campus even though I know that you are not coming back. I see your car, I see you on campus, yet I realize that it is not you. Losing you left a major void in my life and I guess that only time can heal wounds. I stay strong in front of others, but sometimes I just cry and I cannot stop crying.

I'm not sure if it was rape, but I would rather believe you are a rapist than that I willingly lost my virginity to someone like you turned out to be.

You ruined so many songs for me that I had put on mix-tapes for you or were "our" songs. I can't even enjoy making fun of and singing along with boy bands anymore.

I'm not going to graduate in May. I don't know how to tell my parents. I can't afford to take summer school.

today i didn't get out of bed. i am a complete failure in everything i do. i act happy and crazy to everyone--really, involved in things, friends, i go out-- but the facade is getting too hard to keep up.

the depression meds aren't working, but i lie to my doctor and say they are because they make me lose weight.

As we continue to keep in touch, I wonder more and more what my life would be like now if I was at school with you...
I think we might be soulmates.

I really don't like you like that anymore...

I just want to make out with you before I graduate.

i'm going to take your drunken advice about just going for it.

i'm going to tell you i like you.

i hope that this is what you meant, and even if it isn't, thanks for helping me realize that i can.

I like you a lot. You're intelligent, beautiful, seductive. And yet, the only thing keeping me from being with you is what my friends think of you.

I'm sorry.

Could you please lie to me just once? Your honesty sometimes makes me want to throw up.

I think about my weight a lot...it's ridiculous how much I compare myself to other people.. I want to be perfect, to have that great body and be in shape..to lose those 10 pounds I've carried for a few years now. I hate myself, I'm self-destructive..and I over-eat.

Why do I want to defeat myself in terms of food?

My roommate watched porn and masturbated while I was pretending to sleep 5 feet away. It kind of turned me on...

Comment here to submit a secret 4/9/08

The thing I want most in the world is a complete do-over on my entire life. I can't shake the feeling that it's too late...for everything.

Sometimes it consumes my thoughts so intensely and for so long I miss out on what I'm supposed to be doing now. And that makes me wish I could go back even more. It's a vicious cycle I can't escape.

I've watched porn and masturbated while my roommate was asleep just 5ft away.

I let my suitemate take a shower before me this morning while I shaved, just so I could watch him get out.

The chlorine smell of a swimming pool turns me on.