I resist changing my onyen password when its about to expire because it reminds me of how much time has passed and im sad that its going so fast.

Even though this campus is filled with gorgeous girls, they don't do it for me. I prefer women 10-15 years older than me. This is why I'm sleeping with my advisor's wife.

You make me so happy, and you don't even know it. I find it impossible to be depressed when you're around. I like you, but I'll never be able to tell you because I know I'm only a friend.

sometime I just want to dump my friends and get all new ones.

I've been told that I'm a beautiful, intelligent, loving, Christian girl, but I've never had a boyfriend. I'm not saying that my life will begin or I'll have worth when I do get one. I just want to know what it's like to be cherished, held, and loved by a guy.

I play it off like it doesn't bug me so much, but it really gets to me.

It ticks me off when things get complicated. Simplicity is so underrated.


And I can't stop thinking about you or what didn't happen.

i miss having the strict control over my eating that i used to. sure, i may have been on the way to an ED, but i wasn't fat

i tell all of my friends that i'm over him...but i'm not.

i think you're a douche bag for not offering me a ride tonight.

I'm a guy and I get scared walking across campus by myself at night.

every time I hear the phone ring, my heart jumps because I'm hoping that it's you on the other line...

but you've been calling less and less lately, and I'm getting the feeling that you're going to stop all together

I haven't been religious in years, but I tell people I am since most of my friends are from church and I'd like to keep them.

Today was simply amazing. I smiled, laughed, and stretched out on the grass in the sun. More people should have days like I had today.

Comment here to submit a secret 4/20/08

wow.
you have really let me down.
and I honestly never thought you would...

I like to think of myself as a forward-thinking feminist, I'm horrified by anorexia and bulemia, and the last thing I'd ever want to do is perpetuate the beauty myth, but I'm honestly only attracted to skinny girls and I hate that about myself.

I'm crushed.

My Dad has been sleeping with prostitutes. I overheard him confessing to my Mom.

They've been married for 35 years.

whenever i hear people laughing and i don't know why, i always think they're laughing at or making fun of me, and i get really self-conscious

sometimes i feel like masturbating is the only thing that gets me through the day

When listening to recitals of the other students in my studio, I wish and wait for them to screw up so that I won't feel so bad for all my mistakes.

Sorry, but just saying "I was really drunk" is NOT going to take back what you said to me or what we did...the sooner you realize that the better.

You reached out and touched one of my scars on purpose. I have never felt more violated.

I drink on the weekends with my roommates. It's the only time we're truly honest with each other. I'm going to miss them like crazy over the summer. They are truly my sisters in my heart, no matter how much I tease and make fun of them.

Sometimes I ride around on the P2P by myself just to watch and be around people. I also maintain the fleeting hope that can meet a girl one day who is doing the same thing as me.

i couldve hooked up with a realllly cute boy tonight. nice, genuine too. but all i want is you. and damnit, you don't deserve me.

Comment here to submit a secret 4/19/08

I would be indifferent if my boyfriend broke up with me today. Sort of the way I'm indifferent about having him around.

It's been almost two years. I'm convinced that we're meant to be together. I don't mind waiting.

I hate all of the presidential candidates. I don't want to vote because all of them have something that's not only irritating (which I could deal with), but something I am *extremely* against/for that they are for/against.

I despise politics. I think I'm a socialist.

I have so many reasons to be mad at you. You dumped me, and now you seem to be distancing yourself even after you said you wanted to be such good friends. If I could just focus on those bad things, this would go so much easier for me. but instead, all i think about is how great this could have been, and how i could have made you so happy. but you had to go and analyze too much, and now we both missed out on something that could have been so amazing...

Why do I get sad when no one comments on my secret?

Girls in glasses really turn me on

When I'm walking around campus alone, I like to make sure I'm stepping on the black bricks. Sometimes its just because I'm bored and need to entertain myself, but a lot of the time its because I have no clue what I would do should I make eye contact with a passerby.

She's cheating on you. I wish I could tell you, but I couldn't bear it because I know how much it will hurt you. I hope someone is braver than me.

I am teetering on the edge of a mental breakdown with all the work piling on top of me right now. No matter how much work I do things keep on building up. I need a break. I would be looking forward to summer break but I'm doing summer school at UNC. I'm trying to keep a smile on my face but at this point I wouldn't mind a bit if a bus hit me on South Road.

I have Asperger's Syndrome (diagnosed) and haven't told anyone here. I can't. I was "out" in high school and hated getting treated differently.

It hurts to see people with friends everywhere and to know I don't have any, or to see couples and know I'll never be part of one. I just can't sustain conversations or make people like me, and I probably never will.

To all the equally deserving, genuinely sincere, less-than-gorgeous girls out there that I've ignored, I'm sorry. And I can only say it here because I'm not man enough to in real life.

Comment here to submit a secret 4/18/08

I love it when the approval for comments isn't working or is off. The secrets feel so much more real - and I know they aren't edited and that everyone's post is getting put up.

After talking to you for the first time in weeks, it's starting to sink in that I can get over you. However, I can't stop wishing that we could have enjoyed this beautiful Thursday afternoon together again.

When I see a guy I think is attractive or I talk to someone for the first time, my mind automatically races to images of us dating and having a serious relationship even though I just learned their name. And doing this never actually amounts to anything, so why do I keep getting my hopes up?

The reason I act so awkward around you is because I know you are judging me, and I hear you gossiping about me all the time.

It's been months since I broke up with my boyfriend and I've found someone else in that time. But now he seems to be getting really close to a new girl, and it's just now hitting me how much this is going to hurt after all we shared. I feel like a fool, but yet I'm still completely confident and assured that I made the right decision in breaking up with him.

I have penis envy.

The two people who used to be my best friends have both told me that they hate me. But they won't let me leave and be alone. They would rather I stay right where I am and all of us be miserable.

There's one kind of leaving that they won't be able to drag me back from.

I'm so sick of hearing girls talking about 'cute guys.' There are a lot great, average-looking guys out there, too. At least that's what I try to tell myself, but sometimes I want nothing more than to be one of them.

We all want someone to talk about us.

I tell people that I'm probably going to law school so they take my choice of major seriously.

You're about to really hurt me again and you probably don't even know it.

Sometimes I wish I was white so life would just be easier.

I never graduated from UNC. But literally everyone I know (including my employer) thinks I did. I somehow conned my way into graduation ceremonies(including departmental graduation), took all the pictures, and went through all the pageantry, but have no diploma.

Now I can't leave a job that I hate, because I'm worried if I apply for another one the secret will get out.

why didn't i actually try harder? i'm beginning to think it's too late for anything to happen.

i read and write fanfiction. i can't help it. i enjoy slipping into another character's life that's so much more exciting than my own.

i'm not sure that i'm in love with my fiance.

I don't like sex! I am deeply in love with and highly attracted to my boyfriend, but the deed never does it for me. I've been with girls and guys and it all feels dirty. What the hell is wrong with me?

I wish you would break up with your significant other so I could have a reason to break up with mine!

My teachers think that I'm missing class just because -- but it's because I have depression and can't muster up the energy to get up in the morning.

I think I am too ugly/fat to be in a relationship, or even have sex, for that matter. I hate my body. I sometimes think if someone else loved me, then I would love me too. Maybe being in a relationship would mean I'm actually not ugly. One can only hope.

You told me to be straightforward if I want to tell you something... And what exactly was that supposed to mean? I'll be straightforward when you start.

you're supposed to be my best friend.
yet, i am the one always calling you. you never ask how i am anymore. i feel alone. why don't you care? i wish i was "your person" for once.

Whenever I am faced with an opportunity to express myself I find I have nothing to say.

Comment here to submit a secret 4/17/08

I'm just as scared as you are, the only difference is I'm willing to take a chance on us. Why aren't you?

I'm beginning to worry I may be turning into a stalker. Not just on facebook, but in real life.

It might make me feel better when people tell me everyone considers my ex a jerk, if it wasn't for the fact that I already got used to him being one.

Even after a year, I wish I was still being torn down by him, because I loved the boy that came back to apologize.

i hate my roommate

I can't wait till August!!!

My two best friends are people that I am in love with but can't date. One isn't single and I just know the other couldn't think of me that way. It is both a blessing and a curse - I have the people I admire the most at my side, but I tortured daily because I see the people I am in love with but know nothing will come of it.

It feels like it’s happening again.
I’m excited but I’m fucking scared too that I’ll be hurt again.
I’ve gotta find out soon though.

I hate that I read juicy campus everyday.

you looked SO cute today! I wanted to tell you so badly.

Today during class I mentally inventoried the objects on my person, figuring out how I could kill myself with each and every one.
pen.
credit card.
belt.
cell phone.
These are the first suicidal thoughts I have ever had.

Please don’t graduate and leave. I can’t tell you how much I will miss you. You have come to mean so much to me.

I really hope you do something awful so that I can have a good reason to break up with you before summer starts.

I can't help but wonder...if I left for a year, would you care? Would you even miss me? Would you look forward to my return?

I have a crush on my best friend and she doesn't like me in that way. She doesn't know that I am attracted to her because I'm afraid that if I tell her, she will never hang out with me again Now she's with someone. It gets way worse.... he's a douche bag. He is such a douche bag that he could be used to clear out Rosie O'Donnell's vagina. Sure I may be biased, but he IS so full of himself. If he were a nice guy, I would be sad, but I wouldn't be angry.

This sucks so much. I am either going to end up without a friend, or having to deal with this asshole and all the praise I hear about his greatness.
[...] I'm miserable.

I stare at everything. Clouds. Trees. People. Cars. Birds. Food. Everything. All I want to do is trade places with it all, so I don't have to deal with the suffering and frustration that comes with being me.

Why does everything have to involve Eve? I understand how we can't ignore it but it's still upsetting to see her name in the DTH and everything associated with her death. I don't want us to forget, I just don't think it should be a focus for everything. It's hard enough as it is without constant reminders.

I get sad every time I see a VW bug now because of our endless game of Punch Buggy. I think I ultimately won, but after losing you, I'd rather have taken a thousand punches on the arm.

Graduation is less than a month away, and I'm terrified to leave Carolina. Can someone PLEASE make time slow down? There's so much left I have to do...

I only brush my teeth once a day because I'm too drunk at night to remember.

I just want to be held.

I just can't do it anymore. It hurts every time we hang out and I know we will never be together. I wish you felt the same way I did.

Every time I slip up and tell you something personal about myself, I feel sick. It hurts knowing that trusting you is stupid.

I finally figured it out! I'm an attention-whore.... I need people to be interested in me...and STAY interested in me, in order for any kind of relationship to work. I have a hard time staying interested in people who don't care about me at all.

Comment here to submit a secret 4/16/08

I wish I had a plan, any plan, as to what I'm going to do with myself after this semester. I'm not even a senior, I'm a sophomore. But I'm having to leave here because I'm not good enough academically and I guess I never will be. Now I can't even get into community colleges because so many deadlines have passed. I hate having wasted my parents money going here, and I hate the feeling that I've disappointed them even more. Why didn't I just stay home and find another path to my dreams?

I am so afraid of going home for the summer. This is my home now. What if I come back and everyone is different? I don't want to have to start over. I love how everything is right now, in this moment.

I want to sleep with a professor just to say I did it. Too bad none of my professors are hot.

I think I might be falling for you all over again.

I only eat around other people. I've lost ten pounds so far, and I don't want other people realizing that I'm not eating, because I'm afraid that they'll make me eat more...

I don't like James Taylor.

So sue me.

I wish that one of my friends would discover all of my deepest, darkest secrets, so that I wouldn't have to ever work up the courage to tell them to anyone. That's why I put them all in writing.

i really love the girls in it, but i'm afraid my sorority is starting to define who i am...

i just want a fucking break. that's it. like one week where i don't have to be constantly reminded that i'm fucking failing everyone in my life

i cant study and i cant sleep
i'm going to fail again

i am sick to my stomach thinking about it...once again, i'm in the throes of another week of hell

Next time I go out of my way to help someone or make them feel better, I hope it's worth it...and if it's not going to be, I hope they tell me.

I have a weird bump/scar on the inside of my lower lip. I get nervous and start thinking about it obsessively and whether or not people can feel it/get grossed out if I'm in a situation where I might get kissed.

I'm sure you think that I'm scatterbrained and ditsy, but the truth is that I just can't concentrate when you're around. Of course, when you're not around, I'm distracted by thoughts of you anyway. My homework is taking a real hit. :)

When I cut you out of my life, I wasn't trying to play hard to get. I really just want you to leave me alone...

...not because I hate you, though, despite all the horrible things you did. It's because if I don't get away from you, I might not ever get over you.