if it weren't for the pain i know i would inflict on my parents and friends... i would kill myself.

Comment here to submit a secret 5/23/08

my goal for the summer is to not fall for me.


wish me luck.

I know you hate those pictures of yourself from a few years ago because you were a little heavier.

I'm not looking at that, though. It's the same smile, and the same gorgeous eyes.

So no, I don't tell a difference.

And no, I don't think you're fat.

i'm scared that i don't love you anymore, but you're being such a dick right now that i just can't make myself give a shit.

i'm sorry that i'm cheating on you.

i missed him.

Your choice to not talk to me this summer gives me the chance to get closer to him without being afraid...and ruins your chance of anything. Sorry.

Comment here to submit a secret 5/22/08

At one point, you were my best friend. I know that we've grown apart, and I accept that. I really do. I still love you as deeply as i did before.

I wish you'd talk to me, though. I know you're in pain and I want to help. Just to listen.

Can we please become part of each others lives again? I miss you.

I listen to mugglecast. I don't know why that's so embarassing, but I go to lengths to make sure that no one knows!

I despise people who talk in "abrevs"

Even though he isn't my boyfriend (yet), I already fucking hate the girl who flirts with him constantly via his facebook wall. Get a life!

I don't hate your girlfriend. I just hate the fact that she's living the life that I was supposed to have with you. Have a great romantic-getaway at the beach this weekend. I secretly hope that you get in a wreck and that she doesn't live through it. but then karma would probably not be on my side.

I hope I have sex with so many girls this summer, or at least one, so that you won't still be my last after all these months.

i skip samson every time now.

My ex and I learned together that he likes to spank his partners/I like to get spanked. But now, I would have no idea how I would ever ask someone new to do those things to me, even though I want it so much.

I know I said I wouldn't take sides, but really? He's right. You're being a bitch.

When we both agreed it wouldn't mean anything, I desperately wanted it to mean everything to you.

I finally realized you were the one for me and everything was perfect… only a few months later you passed away unexpectedly… now I am alone to pick up the pieces… and I am afraid I won’t ever be able to move on because I will always compare others to you

I want to be a whore, and sleep with as many guys and girls as possible.

I'm just a sexual guy...

Every time we're on the phone and I tell you that I'm reading this site, it's because I've posted a secret that I don't have the nerve to say to you, and I keep hoping you'll check it out and wonder if that one is from me.

Care more.

I'm not anti-social... I'm just sick of you!

i wish i could even remotely relate to any of the posts about broken hearts and love. i want to be broken hearted!! they really are right about better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all :(

i's the basic "girl is in love with her really good guy friend scenario." i've known him since highschool, and he liked me freshman year, but it just didn't work out. we've been friends ever since. and it's not even about looks for me, he just has one of the most amazing personalities ever. and he is so driven that he inspires me to do things i never in a million years EVER thought i could do. but there's a problem: i'm pretty sure he doesn't see me the same way. and i hate it.

I don't know if I can make it through the summer without kissing a guy who liked my friend before school was over.

I'd never commit suicide, but sometimes I wonder if it'd be worth it just to make my family like me again.

Life is so complicated. And I have no answers - not one. No matter how earnestly I try to sort the world around me. No matter how much I try to make sense of the past nor how much I try to understand myself, or what's "right." Not only virtue of character, but virtue of thought.

It's so overwhelming. What I would give for the certainty and conviction of youth mixed with the experience and wisdom of age.

Does "just good friends" mean I'm way too ugly for him? Honestly? Because, that's what I say when I don't find them attractive...

Working 40 hour weeks this summer at my internship has made me kind of depressed about what the rest of my life's going to be like after I graduate.

Comment here to submit a secret 5/21/08

just because i have unrequited feelings for you doesn't mean i'm an idiot. quit looking at me like i'm going to pounce on you like a drooling puppy. geez.

I can feel myself being a huge unreasonable bitch to you all the time and still can't stop. But you always let me get away with it, so I have a hard time even feeling bad.

I feel completely alone and terrified. And I want to tell you and I want you to hold me and I know I can't because I love you too much. I can't help but want to protect you from how bad this feels. I guess it does help some, knowing that at least one of us is happy and carefree right now.

You smell like cocoa butter days after putting it on.

I used to associate the smell with unknown unattractive things in my mind but now I think of you.

Thanks for helping me reclaim a smell!

I honestly don't think I'm good enough for the career I want, the love I want, the friends I want, the life I want.

Incubus sings, "So would I be out of line, if I said, I miss you?"

I think the answer is yes. So I don't tell you how much I miss not being around you this summer.

I'm not sure which scares me more: the thought that you might not know I miss you...or the thought that you might not miss me.

I'm only happy when I'm eating.

Comment here to submit a secret 5/20/08

I have a friend who uses me whenever she needs something. I secretly hate her for it.

The fact that you confessed to having feelings for me despite knowing I'd never reciprocate pisses me off, and it won't bother me if it ruins our friendship.

My boyfriend is the only guy that's ever given me an orgasm. I've hooked up with plenty of other guys and it's always been unsatisfying, uncomfortable, or even painful. Does this mean he's the one?

I can't wait for college to be over so I can apply to grad school and start over in another new place. I love my friends and UNC, I just can't slow down and I don't know why.

This time, I'm in love with you.

But I've gotten so far with my current boyfriend, and I don't have the time or patience for another "project."

I'm sorry for thinking of you like that, but you're so far away and if you can't understand that I need you to need ME sometimes, then I don't know what else to do but shut you out of my life before I'm in too deep.

Yes, I'm talking to you again, but I'm never going to take you back. Quit trying to woo me.

having a roommate that's engaged kind of sucks.

I either need more from you, or for you to just leave me alone. Being in the middle is wearing me down.

Having to see you everyday doesn't bother me at all, it just reminds me of how lucky I am that we're not together anymore.

I am the best motivational speaker, because I know all the things I wish I could hear but nobody tells me.

I miss your dog more than I miss you.

I kissed a guy for the first time Friday night. I was just standing there when he came up and kissed me. It was my first same-sex kissed and I liked it.

It was only a friend and I don't think he thinks anything about it. But that's all I can think about. I want more.

I feel dirty.

i just had the greatest sex i've ever had with the love of my life.

i keep trying to make myself feel sorry, because it wasn't with my boyfriend. but i can't.

I hope with every fiber of my being that you never make it into med school and that you never become a doctor. If you didn't care about someone you said you loved, how could you possibly care for a stranger? You just want the money, car, house and prestige. Me on the other hand? I will work hard towards something I am passionate about... in the end, you won't have the life, and I WILL.

If you let me down this time, I swear, I'm done with you.

I wish I had a best friend

The last time I really talked to you was on the phone right here under this tree in this daily picture. Afterward I lay face down in the grass exactly in the center of this picture and cried while people walked by. I wonder if my tears even slightly helped it bloom so beautifully...

I pity you, for making fun of me and not taking an interest in me because I am heavier than most girls.

You missed out on the best thing in your life.

As cliche as it sounds, big girls need love, we have a lot of love to give.

Before I went to Carolina, Alumni told me that I would fall in love with the place and be so sad to leave it. I feel ashamed that I was so happy to graduate because I didn't have to come back to Carolina... i feel like it makes em a bad Alum.

To my old roommate: You're a horrible roommate and person. You are not attractive, and every girl you meet does not want to bang you. I'm glad I don't have to deal with your superiority complex anymore.

To my future roommate: You're amazing. You're the sister I never had. I really do love you, and you know it.

I'm developing a big crush on my new house-mate. I am kind of hoping that the summer apart from her boyfriend breaks them up. Until then, or in lieu of that, I'll just enjoy the cute girl who lives below me. I just wish she didn't seem so perfect for me.

I wish you weren't studying abroad. I'm sorry to be selfish, but I'll miss you too much.

I hate the memory of old. I'm getting better at dealing with the fact that we've split up - and it actually helps to think of the you of now rather than the you of old when it hurts inside.

Memories though of happier times; and telling each other that we would never leave one another - what weight do words of love to our future lovers now hold?

It's still incomprehensible to me to think that you can fall out of love after feeling something that felt so permanent. And yet it's happened to me. Twice.

I think I've done something really bad... you'd laugh if you heard it, but it's tearing me apart.

I feel cruel for hoping that I am unwittingly somebody's "one that got away". not because I want to feel desirable, but because it would mean at least one other person would feel this unrequited and terrible.

I am really good friends with my boyfriend's best friend and the three of us have a very close relationship. We all hang out a lot and joke about threesomes and me having sex with his best friend.

The thing is, I'm not so sure his best friend is joking about wanting to have sex with me.

I don't know why I always date assholes when you are the guy I should want to be with. You say and do all the right things, you are always there for me. I wish I could make myself fall in love with you.

I have a crush on you and I don't even really know you. The couple of times we've met and spoke, I've been in awe. There is just this intellectual vibe coming from you that's absolutely irresistible. I would love to get to know you better but it's now summer and I'm going abroad in the fall.

I'm supposed to be saving up my money from graduation gifts for rent money but I splurged on a $200 dress.

I deserve it.

my house keeper is SO loud and wakes me up every morning. I'm just too scared to say anything.

Comment here to submit a secret 5/19/08

i woke up in time to go to an exam for a class i knew i was going to fail anyway ..

and rolled over and went back to sleep

but it doesn't matter now!

I feel guilty letting anyone else use my laptop when I know how much I've masturbated while using it!

I posted this secret in april...

"it took a year and a half, but i think I'm finally over him! But i'm afraid that all the feelings i've worked hard to get rid of will come back when i see him this summer...

Posted by E at 10:28 PM 1 comments"

And now I'm falling head over heels again. Why is it so hard for me to stay away from him??? I'm frustrated but also shamefully happy

I'm beginning to think that my best friend and best guy friend have had something going on that I don't know about. It feels like I got a door slammed in my face.

I'm dying to make out with my best guy friend. Not because I'm attracted to him, but because all my other girl friends have...is he really that good??

When I came to Carolina 2 years ago I cut almost all my ties to friends and acquaintances from high school. I never regret that decision until I'm home for the summer and have no one...

You make it impossible for me to hate you. Even when you say something absolutely idiotic, I love you more.

I can't stand that you're not with me.

i am still miserably in love with you.

and i know i shouldn't have told you, but it still killed me that you didn't say "i love you too".

I tell you that I hate you for hurting me because you didn't want to try again this summer. And I do hate you for it. But I don't know if I want you back because I actually still love you, or just because I want a boyfriend again, or even just because I wasn't the one that dumped you.
I hate that I want a boyfriend so badly and I hate that I'll never find anyone I'll feel as comfortable with as I did with you. But no, I really don't want you back because you were the worst boyfriend in the world, you never did a thing for me except made me think that love could still be love, even when it was so one-sided

Comment here to submit a secret 5/18/08

I wish they made an 'I'm sorry I screwed your boyfriend' card. Even though you broke up, I'm still messing around with him, and I just can't find a way to tell you. So here goes:

You're my best friend. I'm so sorry.

i say that i trust you, but i don't really mean it.
i just don't want to be THAT person that demands you not do the things you want.


but, i think the only reason i don't trust you is that i can't trust myself.

I'm absolutely in love with the campus squirrels. I find them fascinating.

im really scared about having a handicapped child one day , either mentally or physically. i want so badly to have a perfect kid. i dont think i could handle it if it wasn't!

Among the many reasons that we could never be just friends, one of them is that if you stay with the guy you're with now, I could never respect you again. Being attracted to him makes makes me seriously question your taste and thus myself.

when I was young and first discovered AOL an older man/stranger IMed me. he started talking about sexual things i didn't understand.
he told me to see if i saw a whitish bump above my vagina which would be my "clitoris". i found it and thought it was bad, like it was a zit or something. i kept trying to get rid of it, take it off.
my obgyn has never mentioned anything being off, but i'm constantly afraid there's something wrong with it becuase of this, and that maybe that's why i've never figured out how to masturbate successfully.

I have no idea what to do with my pubic hair. I'm afraid of grossing a guy out.

We broke off contact for the last time; I still loved you, you didn't love me. And I'm generally ok now - I've accepted it, even though I haven't been able to move on.

But damn it, when I see a picture of you, my whole world comes crashing down. Especially at night because I don't want to be THAT person - waking up my friends at 3am and being a bother because I need help.

I confessed to one my secrets yesterday. I feel fearless, and so much more comfortable in my own skin.

I love acting and saying things that are sexy. But when it comes to actually having sex with the guys I've egged on, I'm scared out of my mind. I love teasing and that's it... for now at least.

I'm 21 years old and just graduated college, but I LOVE the movie high school musical.

I remembered today that years ago when I was little, my parents thought I was allergic to broccoli for some reason. I hated broccoli, so I just played along, even though I'd eaten it at friends houses all the time and never had an allergic reaction. I'd forgotten that I'm not actually allergic because I've lied for so many years just to avoid having to eat it.

Comment here to submit a secret 5/17/08

Instead of getting into a fight and telling you exactly how much you hurt me, I decided to let you go. I can't hold on anymore.

As much as it hurts, I know I made the right decision.

I stayed online for hours hoping that you will message me, but you never do. I check my phone all the time hoping that I have a text from you, but I never do. I try so hard to convince myself that I'm fine with us just being friends, but I don't know how to change the way I feel toward you. I wish you missed me the same way that I miss you.

I really think we're meant to be together. I think you know it too. Why are you so scared?

I've dreamed about you the last few nights in a row. I know they don't mean anything, but I'm amused and saddened that even in my dreams my feelings for you are so clearly unrequited (and that feelings I thought I'd kicked to the curb are rearing their ugly heads again).

We broke up over a year ago. We've each dated other people since then. Yet you still keep hoping we'll somehow end back up together. Why can't you understand that until you get past the idea of "us", we won't even be able to be friends?

when i found out you died this morning in a car wreck i went into shock. I've been reading all of our old and recent messages to each other online and I don't think it's completely sunk in that you're gone...

that the next time I message you online you won't ever be there to respond again.

I hope where you are there's a beautiful beach and a big, friendly dog you can call your own....I know you'll want to be there forever. I do hope wherever you are you're happy....I miss you and love you, buddy....thank you for making me see that the moon is really so beautiful....

I wish you understood that when we hang out what I ACTUALLY want is for you to just cuddle with me. Because I think you would if you figured it out.

Comment here to submit a secret 5/16/08