Thursday, January 15, 2009

I can't stop you from loving her, but if I could... well, I wouldn't because I just imagine what it'd be like to be her. But I wish that you'd choose me.
I'm terrified of you breaking my heart.
Every post I read here that involves cheating makes me lose faith in humanity and to be able to find a girl that wouldn't do that to me.
It does not matter if you feel guilty or not, just don't do it.

I have never gone out on a date in CH.

I peed on a campus bush, once. Some gardeners saw and pointed at me. I waved back.
There are days when I really wish we could all make it blatantly obvious whether we're single or taken. That way I wouldn't have to wonder which of the cute guys in my English class to flirt with.

And that way they'd know to flirt with me.
Meeting your girlfriend just made me want you more.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

From the time I get home to the time I got to sleep, the only thing I can think of is drinking. All I want to do is drink. Sometimes I do, and when I don't, I wish that I were drinking.
I saw my ex tonight, and while I may seem fine with seeing him, on the inside I was SCREAMING. I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from crying. Does he really not know how much it kills me that he has moved on?
I wish for once the stars would align and I'd for once be satisfied with my romantic situation.
I wish was able to forget my past and just start today as though it were day 1.
I'm finally starting to feel whole again, like I'm not angry and jaded and unreasonable in my world view like I was right after I found out you'd been cheating on me all that time. But I still have the same cynical opinions about the world as you inspired in me then. I guess I'm just getting used to being unable to trust.
Whenever I meet a cute boy, I have to look up our Zodiac love compatibility.

I'm not sure I actually believe the stuff, but it hasn't been wrong yet.
Yes, i was hitting on you. Yes I do know you're gay, and yes I am too. I'm just too scared to say it, so give me a reason not to be, please.
I cannot go one day without a cigarette. Well, I can, but if I don't have one I get really grouchy. I try not to admit this to anyone.

Comment Here to Submit a Secret 1/14/09

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

We couldn't be more incompatible, so why do I still try?

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Return my goddamn phonecalls, asshole. It's getting annoying.
I feel so alone. I'm getting sick of my good friends, and I don't know of who else to talk to.
I know how I feel about you and how you feel about me. Yet all of a sudden, I'm pulling away again. It's probably because I've realized that we're not going to be together for a long time, and I don't want to deal with that. But I still love you, and probably always will.
I moved in with my friend at the beginning of this month, and I can already tell it's going to destroy our friendship.

She shuts herself in the room all day, doesn't speak to me for hours, and has completely monopolized the internet and cable, leaving me to post this using someone else's internet. Additionally, she seems to think it's MY job to report any maintenance issues to the office, even though her inconsiderateness has caused me to avoid the place when I can.

It's going to be a LOOOOOONG 8 months.