i would give you THE WORLD if i could....and if you would let me.
most friends in the group i hang out with tell me their big secrets. i would never break their trust in a million years, but sometimes i think about the chaos i could cause.
None of my friends seems to need me in the way that I need them. It makes me feel like shit.
I'm trying so hard to make this situation better but neither of you care about me at all. If you did you would know that I've needed you more this year than ever before and you failed me as friends. I have to move on now. I'm sorry you won't be part of my life. I truly am sorry.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
I know you broke up with me because it will never work out, but I still love you. A lot.
And yes, I'm sure there are prettier and smarter girls out there but I doubt there are any who will have the same spark with me that you have.
I can't stand my roommates right now. Everyone is either boyfriend or self-obsessed.
When you all are done being crazy pessimistic, bitches, you can come find me holed up far, far away from you all.
One of my friends is about to get really hurt, and it all depends on whether I tell one of them what the other told me.
I lied to you, but only because I know that you cannot deal with the truth. However, the more you inflate yourself and blame everything on me, the more I want to tell you what a complete ass you are.
I don't know when I became such a hypochondriac, but it has completely consumed my life, not to mention driven away my friends, and even my family. I don't want to be paranoid all the time - I just can't help it.
I'm really annoyed with all the religious speech-making on election day. I'm an atheist, I don't believe in god, and I resent that the US is being represented that way!
Today, January 20th, is the first day I've felt proud to be an American in over six years.
Monday, January 19, 2009
I got back from break and acted weird for personal reasons. Now I feel like all my friends hate me, or don't really want me around, even my best friend. I feel insecure and I don't know what to do. I can't say I blame them.
I've already decided that I won't leave a note. There are too many ways anything I say could be misinterpreted.
you don't know how much i want to call and make sure you're ok. just to hear your voice would make me feel much better. but i feel like that would hurt you more and i can't do that because it hurts me to think you're hurting.
I've never been to a frat party at Chapel Hill, not because I don't want to go to one, but because I've never been invited.
If they needed me to stop the rain from falling, I would try and find a way. But I feel like I pushed the people I love the most in this world away from me and it scares me. Because I feel like I deserve to be alone. That's the way it's been my whole life, why would it change now?
Sunday, January 18, 2009
For 8 months, I thought I was having your baby. That is the real reason I never called you - I didn't want you to have anything else to worry about since you were already going through a difficult time.
Now, I wouldn't change anything about my life - except I wish that we were still close friends.
