I want to sleep for days. I'm so tired that I can hardly stand it. From the moment that I wake up, the only thing I want to do is go back to sleep.

I felt like such a waste of space that I ended up screaming and crying in my car. You were the only person that I wanted to talk to, but you were the reason that I was crying. And I can't stand it anymore.

Last night, I drank two beers as fast as I could just so that I could get drunk and feel less shitty about myself. It worked for the first part -- the second one, not so much.

I wish you weren't so scared of trying to make this work. At the same time, I wish I would stop pushing it because I'm so afraid of losing you.

Comment Here to Submit a Secret 3/2/09

I have waited for so long to hear those words….the same words I wanted to whisper to you every single night. And now that you said them, I am so lost. I am happy, sad, confused and so fucking scared. I keep telling myself I will finally get over you, and I can’t. And I convince myself you can’t love me, and then you make me think there just might be a possibility. And I’m lost. I’m lost just as much as you are. But…if you would let me, I would love you every single moment of my life.

I am so utterly broken...and NO ONE knows it. It hurts to much to go through this all alone.

An amazing friend just gave me Phase 1 tickets for the game and there isn't a single person who I want to bring who would take me if they won the tickets.

I always speculate as to whether or not my best friend from home would approve of potential love interests. If I don't think so, I tend to shy away.

I'm not afraid to leave UNC because I'm scared of the real world, but because I'm afraid I'll stop learning and stagnate.

Sometimes I worry about how far I'd be willing to go for an A. That would test my ethics most at this point in my life.

So does sex last night mean we are going to stop speaking as much? I know it wasn't the best or anything, but I'm willing if you are to chalk it up to it being the first time and thus a little awkward. Either way, I take it personally when you don't talk to me all day, even though I called and texted you.

I miss you too, and I'm not sure how I'm going to get over you again.

Comment Here to Submit a Secret 2/25/09

I can feel myself turning into a different person. I'm not sure if I like that person or not. I'm just worried that I'm making my friends angry. But at the same time... I figure that if they really care, they'll accept me. If not, I'm better without them. I hope.

I think I'm slipping into depression...again.

I miss you more than you can imagine... and way more than I should.

I am currently being diagnosed, for alas, something has suddenly gone wrong with my brain. I liked who I was before all this started, and I'm readjusting. But I am ruining many a relationship along the way. Innocents are getting wrapped up in my shit, and I'm sorry. I am sorry.

My boyfriend loves me and I think I can't love him back now. I'm going to have to lose him because of all this. And he's the best person I've been with so far. We have been best friends for a year. I miss that. I am going to crush him. I'm sorry for that too.

i find you fascinating, but shouldn't even think about you. i'm practically engaged. when i'm not with you, i think about you. when i am with you, i think about how it would be to touch you...i'm so torn.

It'd be so cool if a girl asked me out for once.