Things that suck about my life:

-Try as I might, and despite being reaffirmed that I am a "Good Guy," I can't get a date.
-Try as I might, I can spend hours on an assignment and still fail it.
-My parents want to micromanage my life to the point where they know my grades before I do, because they check all of my UNC stuff (email, blackboard, etc)

Things about my life that don't suck
-My friends actually care about me, and they know how much I hate myself. Without them, I honestly don't know if I could wake up each day.

I hate that I am "fat" by media/celebrity standards. I weigh 130 pounds. I shouldn't feel bad about that.

Comment Here to Submit a Secret 3/4/09

I am single, have a bitchy roommate, am still in the closet to my parents, worry that one of my good friends has a crush on me, haven't had sex in over six months, and have had three days of schoolwork and midterms pile up because I've been sick. I have a severe form of amnesia, and my best friend has been halfway across the world for the past year.

And yet I'm completely content with my life. When I read this website, I sometimes feel bad being happy when there are so many sad little secrets out there. But maybe I'm not the one with the problem.

I tolerate but secretly loathe it when people say "You're a girl, you can get a guy whenever you want to." If it was that easy, I wouldn't be alone my entire life.

This is a conversation I've put off with my parents for a long while...

"Hi mom, I have a boyfriend. I love him. Hi dad, I don't really want to be a surgeon. I don't really want to work with you in the operating room."

I want to sleep for days. I'm so tired that I can hardly stand it. From the moment that I wake up, the only thing I want to do is go back to sleep.

I felt like such a waste of space that I ended up screaming and crying in my car. You were the only person that I wanted to talk to, but you were the reason that I was crying. And I can't stand it anymore.

Last night, I drank two beers as fast as I could just so that I could get drunk and feel less shitty about myself. It worked for the first part -- the second one, not so much.

I wish you weren't so scared of trying to make this work. At the same time, I wish I would stop pushing it because I'm so afraid of losing you.

Comment Here to Submit a Secret 3/2/09

I have waited for so long to hear those words….the same words I wanted to whisper to you every single night. And now that you said them, I am so lost. I am happy, sad, confused and so fucking scared. I keep telling myself I will finally get over you, and I can’t. And I convince myself you can’t love me, and then you make me think there just might be a possibility. And I’m lost. I’m lost just as much as you are. But…if you would let me, I would love you every single moment of my life.

I am so utterly broken...and NO ONE knows it. It hurts to much to go through this all alone.

An amazing friend just gave me Phase 1 tickets for the game and there isn't a single person who I want to bring who would take me if they won the tickets.

I always speculate as to whether or not my best friend from home would approve of potential love interests. If I don't think so, I tend to shy away.

I'm not afraid to leave UNC because I'm scared of the real world, but because I'm afraid I'll stop learning and stagnate.

Sometimes I worry about how far I'd be willing to go for an A. That would test my ethics most at this point in my life.

So does sex last night mean we are going to stop speaking as much? I know it wasn't the best or anything, but I'm willing if you are to chalk it up to it being the first time and thus a little awkward. Either way, I take it personally when you don't talk to me all day, even though I called and texted you.

I miss you too, and I'm not sure how I'm going to get over you again.

Comment Here to Submit a Secret 2/25/09