That time me and you kinda hooked up in a public bathroom. I stopped you and you thought I was being chivalrous. Well, I just wanted it to be different. The things I want to do to you don't belong there. But if I had it to do over, I wouldn't have stopped you.

I love the members of my Christian group on campus and I go all the time....but I'm agnostic.

You do understand I liked him, right? And then you went and used him and tossed him aside. I really hate you for that. He was too nice to be made one of your meaningless "conquests". And it really hurt when you said that I can have him now that you're done.

I still loved you, but the sex made me feel ashamed.

Every time you open your mouth to speak, I consider offering you monetary compensation to SHUT UP -- your voice is that annoying.

I don't hate him because he's an asshole, I hate him because I had sex with him and am ashamed.

Everyone say that it was a bad idea getting involved with you, but I let myself fall for you, and now I am too scared to admit that I might be in over my head.

When we had sex last night, I was picturing my best friend, not you.

When I know that no one's listening, I listen to Avril Lavigne...and like it.

I'm not in love with you anymore but I'm too afraid to tell you.

I hate seeing "edited their profile" in your minifeed, to look and see you've added another movie, band, or author of mine, ones that don't fit with the rest of your interests. And when you try to converse about them, your vague often misguided observations just make me seethe...
It's possible I'd like you for who you are, if I knew who that was. I want an independent man confident enough to be himself, one who compliments me, not a clone with an added penis.
I've met my share of your kind, and am flattered by the effort, but that kind of crap is how to be a fan, not a prospective boyfriend.

Comment here to submit a secret 3/26/08

I HATE you. I really do. I'm counting down the days until you move out.