Every now and then I am seized by a feeling of complete and utter loneliness. It's horrifying to feel isolated in a room full of people - of friends. Yes, I'm naturally touchy and flirty, but sometimes I really just need someone else to be there. There's no hidden message behind it; I just don't want to deal with the void.

I only started flirting with you cause I wanted something from you but I can't tell a difference any more.

I thought about killing myself last week. I got a B on a major assignment, thought about my post-college plans being threatened by my mediocre GPA, and seriously, for the first time in my life, considered it for about 2 seconds.

I'm worried that if my relationship does eventually fail for good, it'll be sometime after next year when all my friends are gone.

I had a dream last night where he came and made love to me while I slept. It was so vivid. It brought back all kinds of things I wish I could forget about. When I woke up, I was terrified. I wish I'd dreamed about something else.

I love you. I always have. And I'm sorry if I overstep my bounds. It's unintentional, and I only do it because I care for you.

I'm tired. I'm more tired than I have ever been.

I say I don't care if you hook up with other people, but I know I would cry if I found out that you did. I know we're not "dating", but it's not because I wouldn't. Please don't hurt me.

Every time I read the secrets on this site, I always want to edit them for grammar and spelling.

I am a binge eater. Nobody knows-- not even my closest friends. I feel powerless to stop it. I want to stop hating myself. You may know me...I'm the girl who's smiling on the outside but crying on the inside.

We were in an English class together but we've never spoken. You used to bring a fresh pack of gum and chew through the entire contents in one sitting. You are strikingly beautiful yet painfully thin. Sometimes, when I'm wasting time on facebook, I come across your pictures and cannot help but notice you wasting away. More and more, I think my suspicions are correct. Do your friends notice? Are you seeking help? I just want you to know that I think about you and that I hope you're okay.

Comment Here to Submit a Secret 4/27/09

I think I might just go to you. I know you keep saying to do what's best for me, but to be honest, you might be what's best for me.

Just found out I've been stabbed in the back for a while now by my "best friend". Great.

I am unhappy pretty much all the time, but I can't bring myself to go to a counselor or take antidepressants, because treating it as something chemical would somehow cheapen or discount the fact that what you did to me was hurtful. "Oh, it's not my fault she's sad, it's just something wrong with her."

I guess it's not possible to have a great relationship with your ex-. One I can't get along with, the other can't help but constantly and tactlessly slip into conversations that they're actively flirting and looking around....and they're the one who wanted to end our 'ship.

Can I just date someone, break up with them, and have it be A okay? Please?

I love you. I wish I could express the depth of this feeling, to convince you to trust me and take a chance with me. But it turns out, love is not all you need.

Comment Here to Submit a Secret 4/21/09

I was the bigger person, and you were not. I'd like some credit now, please.

Why isn't anything good enough?

For some reason, I can't shake the feeling that you somehow enjoy seeing me fail or come up short.

I had way too much food today and my stomach wasn't sitting well with it. I tried to make myself throw up, but it didn't work. I almost feel disappointed.

I first got into the sport I am in to hide the bruises my step dad gave me.

Now I continue to hide the ones you give me.

Dear amazingly adorable couple in the Daily Grind,

We've never spoken. I don't know who you are. But seeing you two together makes my day everytime I see you. You are so lost in each other and it helps me remember that love really does exist. I haven't seen you in a while, but I just want to say thank you, both of you, for giving the rest of us hope.

A few days ago, my cousin showed me how to perform perfect fellatio... on the gear shift lever in her BMW. It's probably one of the most useful things she's taught me. I just wish I had the chance to practice on something other than a car.

I miss you when you're not around. I don't know if I have feelings for you or not, but I definitely know that I miss you when you're not around.

I have spurts where I truly don't care about being single. And then something random and seemingly meaningless happens and it hits me like a truck. I hate being lonely.

I really want to order or buy a vibrator, but I'm afraid I'll never get a chance to use it: what if my roommates hear it through the walls?

Comment Here to Submit a Secret 4/12/09

Occasionally, I see two people in a blissful and healthy relationship. Most of the time, I see people in much less than that. Honestly, those few good relationships give me hope to stop settling for less and that maybe one day I'll meet that person for me.

After this, I don't know if I can take anymore failure. I barely managed to hold myself together this week. And this has influenced everything: my friendships, my ability to do well at work and in class.
It's personal. I don't care what you, or anyone else says. I blame you, and I WILL hold this against you.

I hate running into you randomly. At one in the morning walking through campus, on Franklin Street after the celebration, just around campus in general...it throws me off guard. The worst part is that you don't even see me back. You are so fucking oblivious - live outside of your head for once.

I unexpectedly had a dream about finding myself waking up in a bed with you, both of us naked and quietly spooning and making love.

Seriously one of the best dreams I've ever had. Now break up with your boyfriend, best friend, and let me give it a shot.

Dear BFF,
You are kind of a bitch sometimes.
Love, BFF

When I ask you what "we" are, the one thing I want to hear is that you want to be with me in a serious way. You are right, of course, about not getting serious too fast, but I can't help myself around you.

Last night you really scared me when I said no to sex because you were too drunk, and you proceeded to hold me down and keep going. I almost panicked, but you let me go almost immediately, and I know you would never hurt me like that. It's just that I think you should know, that thing that you asked me about that I wouldn't admit to the other day, here it is: I was raped at 16. So please, please, please, be more careful next time, because it's too much for me.

It often scares me how attached to you I am already. When you are even just out of reach, I feel the urge to get closer to you. I want to kiss you constantly. I want to be with you all the way. I know it's pretty complicated right now, but I promise it won't be like this for much longer. 4 more months.

I saw you roll your eyes when I was upset and you thought I wasn't looking.

I have been listening to the new Taylor Swift CD nonstop. I like it because it reminds me of when I was more of an idealist.

I really am having a lot more fun ignoring you right now - now I know how you felt when you started ignoring me.

I will probably never be in a functional, lasting relationship,
because no matter how much my head may try to associate coupledom with happiness, security, support, love,
my heart associates it only with heartache and hurt,
and believes people can only be really happy and strong and safe and fully themselves
when they are alone.
I can't even really seem to be happy for my friends when they start going out.

Thanks, Mom and Dad.

I feel like Helen of bloody Troy for gay boys. They only talk to me when they want to get off, either by me coming over and having sex with them, or by talking dirty to them online.

I'M NOT INTERESTED. Try looking at other gay men as people rather than sex objects.

Sometimes I wish my ex would call me, just so I could have the pleasure of hanging up on him. I know revenge is a destructive feeling... but damn if that wouldn't feel good.

Jesus fuck you are a stupid, spiteful bitch. Thanks for reminding me why I could never really stand you.

Comment Here to Submit a Secret 4/8/09

I think I'm supposed to be happy for you, because that's what friends do, but I'm not.

I want to be the center of your world. I want you to want to be with me and spend time with me.

More than anything I just want a friend who can also love me.