Tuesday, June 17, 2008

For the most part, I'm glad we decided not to talk anymore. It was the right thing for both of us. Last night, though, I had a really hard time dealing with my life without you to make things better. Have you missed me at all?
I love you. And you love me. I couldn't be happier. Only 8 weeks until we're back in Chapel Hill. I hope it goes fast because I miss you like crazy.
I don't know if I like you because I like you, or if it's because it's convenient. I really need to figure it out before I start throwing myself into things for you.
I take back what I said. Over the last couple of weeks, I realized that I deserve someone that knows what they want. I'm not going to wait for you to make up your mind. It's too late.
I'll never be able to forgive you for driving home drunk the other week. I see you as a completely different person now.
I'm drunk and alone. I know no one really cares.
Our friendship is worth nothing to you. I know this, you know this. If I dropped dead this instant you'd forget about me quickly. Stop pretending.
Every time things end between me and a guy (relationship, hookup, whatever) he immediately finds someone else and enters a committed, long term relationship.

I'm still single, and really beginning to think I'm cursed.
I am a very political person, and I always have been. I am liberal, but come from a very conservative area. When I finally gained the strength to voice my opinions to those closest to me, they attacked me and my views to the point that I started to think that they see me as only a "goddamn democrat" than the person they knew, loved, respected, and supported for years. I haven't changed a bit.

The experience has sickened me to the point of virtual apathy. I have always hated it when people were apathetic about something with the potential to cause great change.

Plus, I am going into the upcoming year with a big leadership title in a prevalent political organization on campus.
I told her "just hang on one more night." It didn't work, but she still lived. But I feel like she didn't make it, and now I don't know how many "one more night"s I have left myself. And I feel like a selfish hypocrite for telling her that and not being able to do it myself.
I just found out (through means that I am not necessarily proud of) that he and you were romancing behind my back before you broke up with me.

We were together for so long and I loved you more than anything I have ever known--Then you showed me none of the respect I deserved, and hid your despicable actions from me while you said you were being completely honest. Well now I know, and maybe it will help me get over you sooner, because the last few months have been excruciating, at the worst of times.

To think I thought you were the one, even at such a young age.

How could you do that to the person you loved the most? I'll never understand, and I hope it gnaws at you every time you are romantically slighted in the future.
You better not be just like them. You just might be the one who breaks my faith in men and love completely. Sad part is, I never thought I would get to this point. What the hell do I do now?
Please start taking responsibility for your own actions. You're running out of excuses, and possibly friends to blame things on.