For 8 months, I thought I was having your baby. That is the real reason I never called you - I didn't want you to have anything else to worry about since you were already going through a difficult time.

Now, I wouldn't change anything about my life - except I wish that we were still close friends.

Sometimes, you bore the heck out of me. I don't even know why you thought you had a crush on me, because we're totally wrong for each other. You have no interest in partying. I don't want to be with people who don't have a healthy sense of adventure. I'm surprised you don't see the disconnect.

But whatever. You're not a bad person because of your choices. You just don't understand that we don't... fit. I'm sure you'll find a nice, quiet, conservative boy to make you happy. In the meantime, when we do hang out, please leave your superiority complex at home.

I know you'll probably never read this, but I am so worried I am going to become less and less important in your life. Logically I know that's probably not ever going to be true, but I am terrified it will happen. I just fear losing the people I care most about because I don't know what I'd do without them.

Comment Here to Submit a Secret 1/18/09