Comment here to submit a secret 4/29/08

I feel like I am ALWAYS acting...

I love it when it rains like it is right now - even though this weather puts me in a bad mood, it gives me something to blame everything on.

I'm getting fat and I can't stop myself....

i'm angry and trying to blame someone else, but it boils down to the fact that i fucked myself over. i feel so fucking stupid.

i feel empty inside, like i don't know who i am or what i like anymore. i feel like i haven't absorbed anything these past 4 years. i don't know what i am doing. i'm graduating in 2 weeks. fuck.

I'm so sorry. We were best friends. I think about you every day. I miss you. I hate myself everyday for something I don't understand. Were we not both to blame?

I'm a guy with an eating disorder. And it may seem immature, but I blame my friends who jokingly called me fat all those years, as well as all the girls who wouldn't even consider talking to me.

Well now I'm thin and everyone's getting what they want -- except me. I keep telling myself that it's ok to start eating again, but I can always find an excuse not to.

sometimes i just want to tell my suitemates to fuck off.

I absolutely HATE shaving my legs. Sometimes during the winter I'll go a couple weeks without doing it - it's a lot easier to get away with when you're wearing pants all the time.

Why the hell am I so shy and scared? It's ruining my life.

i don't mind going down on guys but i can't understand for the love of me why a guy would want to go down on a girl.

I told my dad that I have an eating disorder.

He didn't believe me, and told me that I am "smarter than that."

Thanks, dad.

i'm so afraid he'll hurt me, but i'm afraid to miss out on true love even more

I'm abroad this semester and I secretly wished that we wouldn't win the national championship so Tyler would come back and we could win when I'm back at Chapel Hill. So far...my wish is coming true :)

It feels really great to know that I'll be ok without you. I hope we can stay friends while we go our separate ways and you don't judge me when you find out how I made my realization.

i only feel sexy-or in touch with any part of my sexuality- when i'm drunk

I hate going to the gynecologist because I'm worried they'll find I have an STD or something.

You coming and going like this is killing me. You've sucked me in and you don't even know it yet.

The worst part is I'm afraid you never will.

i never really got any attention here for the first couple years i went here

lately i have, esecially when i go out. i know the guys are shallow (the ones hitting on me, at least) so i take pleasure on being a tease to them--they think they can get any girl they want and be an ass to any girl who they deem unworthy...well, not tonight at least!!

i used to be so against drunk driving (as i should be)
now , i dont know if i was stopped, if i would pass the breathalyzer test...it disgusts me, but i keep pushing it because i don't get caught

i have lots of friends here but i dont think ill miss a single one of them after i graduate! none of these friendships ever got as deep as i had wanted and i cant quite figure out why

one of the reasons why i think i never developed an eating disorder is because my mom always told me i was the right size. right now im very happy with my body, im not fat, im not skinny, im just me, and thats the way it should be.

i try really super hard to find an empty bathroom on campus so i can shit in solitude

i like the idea of those guys in the pit who give free hugs but im always scared to go hug them. but it makes me smile to see them there anyway.

Comment here to submit a secret 4/28/08