Tuesday, April 29, 2008

i wish my boyfriend would stop calling me dude and man. i know its just habit cause thats just how he talks but DUDE, I'm not just one of your BUDDIES...
I secretly am thanking God that this semester is almost over. I'm so sick of my negative, complaining, roommate. The world doesn't owe you anything because of who you are or your lifestyle. Get over it.
i'm not sure i can last another moment with my ridiculous roommate chomping on her chewing gum 24 hours a day. ladies should NOT chomp on their gum like a cow chewin' cud- so rude!
I think the only reason I want to be with a boy is because it is the social standard and almost expected. The truth is I am completely happy being alone at this point in my life. My friends give me all the companionship I feel I need.
there is NO WAY i just got an A- on the exam i just took. i definitely made up half of the answers. i think my professor just felt sorry for our class because he was teaching a ridiculous subject?
i stopped caring that my boyfriend kisses me after he goes down on me :)
I made my summer plans because of you.
I'm staying in Chapel Hill, where you live, because of you.
I won't be with my suddenly amazing boyfriend because of you.

...Why did you have to turn into an asshole? I thought I loved you, and I thought you were the one. I guess I thought wrong.
sucks that i just found out you were seeing her when we took a break...
i dont know who is the biggets loser, you--for thinking you could get away with that shit--or me, who still isn't convinced youre the douchebag my friends tell you are, and i can't een confront you about all of this
You left your Facebook up when you left. I went through your inbox. Now I'm wondering if I should confess and ask for your forgiveness or just keep it a secret.
I never wanted to be friends with benefits with anyone before this week. Now every time I'm with you I want to just grab you... but I don't really like you as more than a friend...
Dear roommate of mine:

I have pretended to sort of like you all year, but in all seriousness you are the single most obnoxious and self-centered human being I have ever met. I cannot wait until I no longer live with you. Oh, and one more thing: I am not your mama... clean up after yourself.
I've never been open with anyone.
I keep thinking these secrets are from you. I wish I could know that they aren't.
when i joke about marrying you, i'm more than half serious
i never thought i'd be rationalizing having sex with a guy on a break with his girlfriend. is he lying? how do i trust him? because i put myself in her shoes and i wanna punch myself in the face.

and i blame him. i blame him for taking my naivety. i blame him for taking my motivation to actually study this week. i blame him for almost getting me pregnant.

i don't wanna see him again. but i do. no i don't.

but i really do..
It has been several years since I last had sex and I miss it like crazy! Am I the only one?
I make sure I leave after everyone so I can walk home alone... I love those 15 minutes of solitude.
i don't think i'll be able to stop smiling today.
My brain has already turned off for the summer, I don't think those last 2 papers are going to be written.

If your class isn't the one I need to graduate, sorry for wasting your time.
It's hard enough to drag myself to the SRC when it's free and a 5 minute walk. What's going to happen to me next year when I actually have to PAY to go to a gym??

I don't want to be fat.


I am waiting for that one moment, that love at first sight only in a movie moment, where I will meet my perfect girl and live happily ever after. I wonder if she is out there. Maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic. I can't be the only guy that feels like this, or am i?
I'm not ok.
I know we talked about it, and you think I've moved on, but I haven't.
I don't think I'll ever be ok again, and I don't know how to tell you that. I don't want you pull you down with me.
and I can't even tell you
I love you.
There’s a part of me that thinks you must just not understand that I love you, and if I can only somehow make you understand that, then you will stop treating me this way.
Sometimes I wished I could develop an eating disorder- just for a few months, just long enough to lose some weight. I know that's really ignorant, but I sort of envy people who have the motivation and self-control to stop eating.
The funny thing about it is I was so worried about failing all year that I actually did.
I want you to break down my walls. Try. I'll let you.