I am scared out of my mind. Will something please go right? I am trying so hard to get excited about my life/future, but it just gets harder and harder every time something goes wrong. Can something please go right? Please??

I think there is something biologically wrong with me. I'm attracted to my boyfriend but I'm terrified of the idea of sex. I've never masturbated or anything. I used to never believe that the majority of people do.

What's wrong with me?

I resist changing my onyen password when its about to expire because it reminds me of how much time has passed and im sad that its going so fast.

Even though this campus is filled with gorgeous girls, they don't do it for me. I prefer women 10-15 years older than me. This is why I'm sleeping with my advisor's wife.

You make me so happy, and you don't even know it. I find it impossible to be depressed when you're around. I like you, but I'll never be able to tell you because I know I'm only a friend.

sometime I just want to dump my friends and get all new ones.

I've been told that I'm a beautiful, intelligent, loving, Christian girl, but I've never had a boyfriend. I'm not saying that my life will begin or I'll have worth when I do get one. I just want to know what it's like to be cherished, held, and loved by a guy.

I play it off like it doesn't bug me so much, but it really gets to me.

It ticks me off when things get complicated. Simplicity is so underrated.


And I can't stop thinking about you or what didn't happen.

i miss having the strict control over my eating that i used to. sure, i may have been on the way to an ED, but i wasn't fat

i tell all of my friends that i'm over him...but i'm not.

i think you're a douche bag for not offering me a ride tonight.

I'm a guy and I get scared walking across campus by myself at night.

every time I hear the phone ring, my heart jumps because I'm hoping that it's you on the other line...

but you've been calling less and less lately, and I'm getting the feeling that you're going to stop all together

I haven't been religious in years, but I tell people I am since most of my friends are from church and I'd like to keep them.

Today was simply amazing. I smiled, laughed, and stretched out on the grass in the sun. More people should have days like I had today.

Comment here to submit a secret 4/20/08