I'm attracted to a man 30 years older than I am. With a sick wife. With a son older than I am.
Dammit.

I've always struggled with my weight, and I worry that one day I'll just give up...and end up morbidly obese like my mom.

When you leave dishes in the sink, they don't clean themselves. You're not living with your parents anymore, so grow up and stop leaving things to rot in our kitchen.

Every time I'm around you I look, sound, and feel like an idiot. You suck the confidence right out of me, you make me feel like dirt, you make me think I'm a worthless, inferior, stupid girl instead of the true woman that I am. I used to love you, but now I hate the way I feel- the person I am- when I'm around you.

And the fact that I can say this here, where you can't hear me, but could never say it to your face, makes me feel even worse.

Yes, we peed outside of Ram's Gym. And yes, we felt so much better afterwards... :)

It's been 3 years and I've finally admitted to myself why I haven't been in another relationship. I hope this means I can start to really move on, because I'm tired of being lonely. And I don't deserve this just because you were an insensitive jackass. (As it turns out, it really was you and not me.)

I know you know who I am. I've been in love with you for almost three years. I take the long way to class in hopes of running into you and exchanging one of those mutual knowing looks. I wish I could work up the nerve to talk to you, I'm just waiting for you to talk to me first.

Comment here to submit a secret 3/28/08