Despite everything--you cheating on me, the lies, leaving me, telling me you never would, making a fool out of me in front of everyone I know, stealing my friends, destroying my mental stability, making me afraid to ever love again--despite all that, if you were to come back to me today, I'm not sure I'd be able to say anything but "Yes."

I never know if she means it or if she's just trying to hurt us when my mother threatens suicide.

Comment Here to Submit a Secret 12/31/08

My brother's an alcoholic.

I'm worried that I'll become one, too.

When I get dressed up to go out and feel really good about myself, I feel invincible. I want to have a good time with my friends, have a drink, and laugh. Why does a woman enjoying herself immediately translate to "Please hit on me. I desperately want it." ?

A part of me likes the attention. But when you're leering at my ass and breasts, you're just being creepy. So stop it.

I hate myself for saying "I love you" back. I don't know if you ever meant it, and I still don't know if I meant it or not. I don't know if love is anything more than lust.

I hate that I don't want to be in a relationship with anyone anymore. If you could leave me without any warning, when I thought things were so good, then why wouldn't it happen again?

Most days, I am glad we don't talk anymore, and I never want to see you again. Ever. I'm not sure what I would do if I saw you -- I think I would burst into tears. It's easier pretending you don't exist. Most days...

Most of all, I hate that I still love you, after everything we said and did to hurt each other.

Comment Here to Submit a Secret 12/30/08

I will never have a successful romantic relationship. Once the people I've dated have gotten past my veneer, they fade away. I guess the real me isn't very appealing.

I realized that I only have three real friends at UNC. They're the only ones I'll miss when I'm gone, and I couldn't be happier that I've found such quality friends.

I'm scared of telling my parents that I'm depressed because I don't want to go on medication. I just can't remember the last time I was happy.

I think he stopped loving me long before we broke up. It only makes it worse to remember how many times I was sleeping next to him when he said that he loved me only to realize that he was lying.

He was LYING. And he promised that he would never, ever lie to me.

Why won't you fight for me? You know that I love you, and I know that you love me. Just say it, and stop acting happy when I tell you that I found a date for New Years.

I looked at your facebook profile, and I think you're dating someone else, and it's killing me.

Was I really that easy to replace?

Comment Here to Submit a Secret 12/29/08

I'm finally starting to let you go after you hurt me so badly, but I'm afraid I will never be able to fully let go or fix the part of me that still loved you after all the pain you caused.

I wish I could prove I love you.

I think what I really want,
deep down,
behind all the wanting of friends, or boyfriends, or important jobs, or great accomplishments,
is to know that if I died,
there would be some hole that I left
that nobody else could fill.

Welcome Back.

Dear loyal readers and contributors,

It's been a long time. I hope you forgive the delay, but we are back up and running.

We truly value all of our members, so please spread the word that UNC Post Secrets is back.

Happy New Year,
The Moderators.

Summer Break

Dear Loyal Readers and Commenters:


Thank you all SO MUCH for continuing to support this project throughout the summer! We appreciate every hit, every submission, and every thought you've given to UNC-CH Secrets!

We would just like you guys to know that we will be taking a brief hiatus from updating for the next 2 weeks or so, in order for the moderators to get some (much needed) breathing time.

Feel free to leave your secrets, thoughts, comments, pictures, etc. in the meantime, and we will be back to posting regularly by mid-July.


you guys rock, and enjoy the summer!

The Moderators

i feel 100x better when i go out drinking and get attention


i feel so badly when i dont get the attention -- am i fat? not wearing a cute dress like everyone else?


i know it's shallow...beyond belief. but i cat help it

summer school classes really havent been that horrible...


but it just doesnt feel like summer. ive had internships, jobs, whatever, over the summer and it still felt like a break from school


im afraid that im going to burn out come fall semester

I run from my problems.

I bought a vibrator the other day...I LOVE IT! But I can't wait until I see you again so I can get the real thing

I know that we're perfect for each other. Stop fighting it.

I am just as good as you.

I love to make service calls (phone, cable, other bills) naked. It is hard to carry on a conversation with someone when all you can think about is what THEY would think if they could see you while you were talking.

every once in a while, i have to remind myself that i made the right choice when i left you for them.

Comment Here to Submit a Secret 6/25/08

you know i'll say it back.

miss you, lonestar. didn't plan to.

I love morning sex.

I would take you back in one second despite what you've done.

I used to hate myself. Then I came to carolina and learned to love myself. I fear I have relapsed...

Comment Here to Submit a Secret 6/24/08

I feel so connected to you all who post here. Thank you for helping me not feel so alone. :)

whenever i hear you talk about how hot some girl is i facebook stalk her and try to figure out what makes her so much better than me.

I have lost a ton of weight and accepted the fact that I am gay, but I still look in the mirror and see that fat, unattractive, and closeted person I was. I guess my closet was bigger than I thought. I want a relationship and I want someone to hold and fall asleep with but I don't see myself as good enough for that. How can I learn to like myself?

When you fall out of love with your current boyfriend like you did me, you should realize that the kind of love you want to last your whole life is not possible for anyone. And maybe then you'll try at us again.

im scared


im scared im falling too fast
im scared of what will happen come fall
im scared that im no longer completely in control
im scared im not good enough
im scared ill fuck things up



please make it worth it

I didn't expect to see you that night, when I did see you I was worried it would be a terrible night. It wasn't--I haven't had that much fun all summer. Now I only wish I had made out with you...

No one knows that I'm suicidal.

Life away from Chapel Hill is missing a very palpable something. While its not torture for me to be in this home which isn't even mine since my parents move, I feel as though life will be significantly better once I can get back to campus. At this point, I actually want to have classes, I want to learn, I want to excel. So I guess the lack of accomplishment is what really gets to me out here.

I am happy. I like the path my life is on.

I only wish you had wanted to journey there with me.

Hey, snotty little brat at my internship.

Don't you dare knock UNC because your program is specialized.

I'm so glad that you have all of these classes that teaches you everything you need to know, but that's all you'll ever know. Personally, I'd like to EXPAND my horizons. Thank you.

Oh, and by the way? Yes. Basketball IS important, asshole.

I'm reinventing myself this summer. It's going well with all the people who are seeing the slow gradual changes, but I'm scared about what happens in the fall when I am suddenly a very different person.

i dont understand why i dont have any fucking friends. is it them? or is it me?

When I wrote "I love you" on a road sign today, I meant you, and I have for the last years and probably will for the next few to come. You've moved on and you're happy. Just know I'm somewhere wishing you well.

what i cant tell you:
your voice is sexy and its adorable how tall you are. every time we look at each other i want to do what our eyes say.

but its not going to happen.


thank you for this

I could see us growing old together. Please let us have another chance one day.

I was never that prince you read about in fairy tales.
I Was NEver That PRInce You Read About In Fairy Tales.
I WAS NEVER THAT PRINCE YOU READ ABOUT IN FAIRY TALES!!!


...all I can do is try, but that's never been good enough now has it?

Comment Here to Submit a Secret 6/23/08

I have a 1.891 and i don't think I'll be able to come back to UNC in the fall. I've never been so sick in my life...

how can i tell my parents that i was so close to a 2.0 but wasn't good enough to cut it? who can i talk to that will help?... i need help

Why is it so hard to fall in love

I wish you had told me and I didn't have to ask.


You could have done a lot better. I'll give you some credit for trying, but maybe next time just do better.

i'm cheating on my girlfriend. i don't know how to stop and i feel so guilty.

tomorrow is my last night in chapel hill, and i want to spend it with you.

i hope you realize how much that would mean to me. and how much YOU mean to me...

I hate being home. I hate my conservative Christian family. I hate that I can't tell them I'm atheist. I hate that I can't even list 'atheist' as my religious views on Facebook, out of fear it will get back around to them.

Why the hell do I care so much? Why must I tiptoe around their prejudice?

We stopped talking and sometimes I wonder if you're ok. I feel like I fixed a lot of problems that you came upon and also I understood you best of all. Are you doing ok without having me to vent to and give you hugs?

I miss the person you were when I could help you and solve your problems. I am glad to be away from the person you had recently become.

Be that old person again and we could be friends.

Comment Here to Submit a Secret 6/19/08

I went through some of your pictures on facebook today like I have done for months since we've broken up and I realize that I don't want you. You're not even as attractive as I used to think you were. You're a self-absorbed, narcissistic liar and I can do way better.

i wanna be on you.

i look at you and my heart beats faster. and it scares me, because i don't think this is right. i'm scared to get my hopes up.

but i see that smile of yours and your eyes lock with mine and i'm instantly assured.

I pick and flick.

I feel like I'd be really good at writing porn.

I always make up movies in my head, anyway.

I haven't had sex in a month and a half now, and I feel like I'm going crazy. Now I know what you have been feeling like for the past semester or so. I'm so sorry. At the same time, I hope you're not sleeping around this summer, like I know you wanted to do.

Comment Here To Submit A Secret 6/18/08

theres a thing between us. i dont know what it is, but i like it.

i know we are right for eachother i just know it.

i just hope you know it too.

For the most part, I'm glad we decided not to talk anymore. It was the right thing for both of us. Last night, though, I had a really hard time dealing with my life without you to make things better. Have you missed me at all?

I love you. And you love me. I couldn't be happier. Only 8 weeks until we're back in Chapel Hill. I hope it goes fast because I miss you like crazy.

I don't know if I like you because I like you, or if it's because it's convenient. I really need to figure it out before I start throwing myself into things for you.

I take back what I said. Over the last couple of weeks, I realized that I deserve someone that knows what they want. I'm not going to wait for you to make up your mind. It's too late.

I'll never be able to forgive you for driving home drunk the other week. I see you as a completely different person now.

I'm drunk and alone. I know no one really cares.

Our friendship is worth nothing to you. I know this, you know this. If I dropped dead this instant you'd forget about me quickly. Stop pretending.

Every time things end between me and a guy (relationship, hookup, whatever) he immediately finds someone else and enters a committed, long term relationship.

I'm still single, and really beginning to think I'm cursed.

I am a very political person, and I always have been. I am liberal, but come from a very conservative area. When I finally gained the strength to voice my opinions to those closest to me, they attacked me and my views to the point that I started to think that they see me as only a "goddamn democrat" than the person they knew, loved, respected, and supported for years. I haven't changed a bit.

The experience has sickened me to the point of virtual apathy. I have always hated it when people were apathetic about something with the potential to cause great change.

Plus, I am going into the upcoming year with a big leadership title in a prevalent political organization on campus.

I told her "just hang on one more night." It didn't work, but she still lived. But I feel like she didn't make it, and now I don't know how many "one more night"s I have left myself. And I feel like a selfish hypocrite for telling her that and not being able to do it myself.

I just found out (through means that I am not necessarily proud of) that he and you were romancing behind my back before you broke up with me.

We were together for so long and I loved you more than anything I have ever known--Then you showed me none of the respect I deserved, and hid your despicable actions from me while you said you were being completely honest. Well now I know, and maybe it will help me get over you sooner, because the last few months have been excruciating, at the worst of times.

To think I thought you were the one, even at such a young age.

How could you do that to the person you loved the most? I'll never understand, and I hope it gnaws at you every time you are romantically slighted in the future.

You better not be just like them. You just might be the one who breaks my faith in men and love completely. Sad part is, I never thought I would get to this point. What the hell do I do now?

Please start taking responsibility for your own actions. You're running out of excuses, and possibly friends to blame things on.

Comment Here to Submit a Secret 6/16/08

i miss you so much but i think i've irreparably damaged our second chance.

is this really the end?

Now that we've had sex, please don't forget about me.

:(

I keep my fingernail clippings in a bottle. Sometimes I take them out and play with them. I know its weird, but for some reason it makes me feel good.

i've been facebook stalking friends of friends who live in the city I'm moving to...just to see if anyone can hook me up :-)

I graduated, but it still hasn't hit me I'm not moving back to Chapel Hill in August.

I'm pretty sure that's the only reason I've been able to hold it together thus far.

i had a thing with my high school teacher

everytime i am around you i get hornier and hornier. i just want you to acknowledge me as a lover. will you ever?

i masturbate a lot.

i told you because you seemed trustworthy, because of all people i thought you'd understand.

i'm not sure how many more times i can handle violations of trust before i completely lose my faith in humanity. there's only so much hope one can have, and it's fading fast.

my definition of love changes with each new person i date.

Comment Here to Submit a Secret 6/15/08

I suppose its only fitting to find out a secret about my late father a few days before fathers day. Knowing that it wasn't heart disease that killed him is a relief, but knowing the true cause hurts almost as bad as my own worry for my heart.

I have such a crush on you. I want to talk to you all day long.

if there was a way for people to see the number of times i've looked at their facebook profile i would be mortified.

the first guy i've wanted to cheat on is the first one who doesn't deserve it.

went to the gynecologist for the first time a couple days ago. She knew I was a virgin, because I told her so. And yet... not particularly gentle, that woman.

I hate that the first thing ever to penetrate me is a piece of cold and indifferent steel.

My worst fear in life is losing my parents. Seeing them get older and not be able to do things that they used to hurts me. I know that I will not be able to live my life without either one of them. They are the ONLY people in my life that have been a constant and I am starting to believe that no one will ever love me as much as they love me. I know this is awful but I pray that God takes me away before he takes them away because my life is worthless without the love that they give me.

I feel so much better having talked and gotten all that off my chest. You were wrong when you said it would be better to just keep it all quiet, and I don't regret it one bit.

(...so what happens now?)

Happy Father's Day. I wish last time we talked it didn't feel like we were just doing it out of obligation instead of actual love & respect.

I'm going to make you mine.

I know I barely know you, and it may take a while, but it's gunna happen.

hope you're ready.
;)

make the first move.

Comment Here To Submit A Secret 6/15/08

I was incredibly sick last week and was throwing up all the time. Now, I feel better, but I keep throwing up anyway. I'm terrified that this means I'm getting an eating disorder.

Whenever I talk to you, all that comes out is jibberish. Your smile reduces me to a middle-schooler!

I've never been so afraid to lose someone. Knowing you has made me better, and for that I know you're different.

But I've never had to be so far from someone that means so much to me, and the jealousy of the new people in your new life hurts more than I can say.

...and for once, I really have no idea what to do.

I just... I just want this to be easier.

i hate how you judge girls. all of you. it's not fair.

i know i will never be "that girl" but i do hope that i am decent-looking enough to have a chance with you.

i honestly believe i would like you this much no matter what you looked like and that pisses me off.

i can't believe you're gay... we just had sex! i think you might be using that as a way out of following up!

we're engaged but i dont want to marry you anymore

i want you to aggressively take advantage of me... just do it!!

Sometimes I feel tired of you, of this relationship. But my brain informs me that's only fleeting and I love you. You're the most honorable person I've ever met & we're incredible together.

So why do my doubts keep growing babums?

I tried. I really did. But I fell in love with you. Even though you already have a boyfriend who gets angry when your flaws come out, can't handle your family, and is so temperamental that you're afraid to call him sometimes. I promised myself I wouldn't do it, but maybe one day she'll see in me what everyone says is there. Unless they're lying.

The guy my ex was talking to just listed himself as 'complicated' on facebook. It seems inconsequential, I have no information to go on, and yet I'm still feeling sick because of it.

The only thing I want more than being able to get over you is for you to take me back.

Comment Here to Submit a Secret 6/14/08

I finally feel fulfilled and happy with my work for the first time in my life. My faith in humanity has been restored. It's such a good feeling!

I want to be skinny so badly. I walk around thinking about how many calories I'm burning and when I can eat again. When I do eat, I eat so much it hurts...then feel guilty. I want to be better and eat normally, but I'm terrified of being fat.

It's easier when I'm drunk.

I love you more with every moment, and I can never be with you long enough. You're everything good. We talked everything through, and I was happy.

So why can't I stop thinking about it, what you said a few weeks ago? Why does it [still] hurt to think that, maybe, you aren't straight?

I don't want to go back to UNC next semester. This summer made me realize I'm burned out and getting a little indifferent. I will reclaim some inspiration before August. I have so much to appreciate and don't want to take it for granted...

Comment Here to Submit a Secret 6/13/08

It's been almost a year, I'm over you.

So why did it hurt so much to see a picture of you and her on fb vacationing where you always promised to take me?

I never know whether to feel happy or insulted when my ex starts dating a less attractive girl after me.

I'm prettier but she has him...who wins?

i think we might get married one day.

and i cannot think of a single thing that would make me happier.

i wish i didn't miss you so much.

i really want to have sex with you before i leave...

i may be bicurious...i'm scared

you are selfish and dont care about your friends--i cant wait until others see the real you, too

i finally understand how it feels, how things should be. I've never fallen so fast for somebody and it's scaring the life out of me. I just got a taste of not having you around and the effect it had on me is terrifying. Please don't be like the others, they broke a small piece of me but you would break so much more.

i think i just realized that i'm afraid to be happy

Comment Here To Submit A Secret 6/12/08

I finally said goodbye to you, cut you out of my life for good. I was shaking as I deleted your number from my phone, and for a few hours I kept waiting for you to call and tell me that you really did want to try to make it work as friends. Then I realized that I didn't want to you to do that, I didn't want you to drag it out any longer. This is what I've needed to do for a long time, and I finally found the strength to be ready to do it.

With every passing day at my internship, I feel less and less confident in the abilities that I thought I had.

I don't think I'm good enough to be here right now, and I'm just praying that my boss doesn't realize that.

Can you fall for someone nearly 4 years younger because of the intensity and complexity of a night's conversation? Or could it just be the way you caught my eye from wherever you happened to be and how you brushed my back with your hand each time that you passed by?

dont you guys feel like theres more to life than just the regular day to day happenings in chapel hill? do you ever feel like you are scratching the surface of what it means to be alive?

i feel like the world has great things waiting for me and im ready...

Comment Here to submit a secret 6/11/08

i actually don't know if we're going to make it.

We talked about everything and where we stand for the summer. I'm so afraid we're going to get back to Chapel Hill in the fall and you won't want me, and you'll let me go.

I'm trying to stay positive that that won't happen. Please don't let me down, I'm falling for you more and more every day.

They say they want me to get better. But it doesn't really matter if I don't does it? All the things I have to give up to make sure my friends safe and happy are going to cost me a lot more than my emotional stability, and I don't even think they care. I keep saying "one more day" but I'm not sure how many of those are left before I give out...

please let me get this job. i really need it. i don't know if it's right to pray for something so selfish, especially after being a stranger to God for so long, but I am.

That's the first time I've ever felt like it was the other person's privilege to be with me. Like how I imagine beautiful people feel when they have sex with someone they know i uglier than them. But it's not because I'm more attractive. It's because I'm so much more beautiful than him on the inside.

I'm going to tell her. I think she'd want to know. And I have a right to; she hurt me before she hurt you, and just because you'd rather keep it all quiet doesn't mean I have to.

You're fantastic but I hate your girlfriend. She's immature, you admitted it yourself, and she doesn't deserve you. Therefore, I'm going to try to be a boyfriend-stealer. I know this makes me a bad person, but I kinda don't care.

i had the most amazing day yesterday. the most awesome things happened that i didn't even think were possible.

and at the end of the day even though i felt lucky about my life and that everything was so surreal...i felt unhappy and all of the negative things about myself even stronger than usual. why can't i just be happy?

Bad things happen when you drink too much...and I may have just ruined my rep with everyone I work with. To cover it up I'm lying about what happened and what I remember.

Great way to start the summer...

Both my brother and my sister are in relationships. I'm the oldest and I'm single. How is this fair!?!? I know its stupid but I want to be the first to get married, and I'm really beginning to think its no longer a possibility.

I used to laugh at those women on Maury for not knowing who fathered their child, but now I realize just how easy it could be and it really scares me.


Please God, don't let me be pregnant.

I don't miss my roommates.

I get really pissed off when people tell me that all I need is more confidence in myself and THEN I'll find the right guy.

I am confident. I truly believe I am a beautiful, smart woman. But sometimes I wonder if my confidence is what pushes guys away...

I bumped into you today, and it will probably be the last time we ever see each other.
After all we've been through and meant to each other over the past 7 years, you couldn't even get up out of your chair to hug me goodbye?


It makes me wonder if I ever really meant anything to you at all. And that really hurts because even though I've moved on, a part of me will always love you.

Comment Here To Submit A Secret 6/10/08

i wish i had a chance with you. I wish you could see me as more than a friend, at least consider it.

I was just sitting and having a conversation with a friend that I hadn't seen in a while. I think that you are such a bitch for telling him what I did last year with the guy you are now dating.

Everyone sees you as this perfect, caring person, when you acted without knowing anything about the situation, and least of all, me. Oh, and not to mention, you weren't even dating at the time. I have spent the past year trying as hard as I can to forget what happened, because I know I can't forgive myself for it.

I hope your relationship ends soon, and I hope it's because he does what he did with me with someone else.

it kills me that i didn't mean enough to you for you to even miss me.

we are in love.
but i refuse to be with you unless you can fucking make time for me.

You couldn't get it up today and I'm really hoping that doesn't mean that you didn't want me. Or that I did something wrong.

It is so awkward to talk about it, I don't know what to do.

Its been a month since I have graduated and I feel like all of my "friends" have forgotten about me. No calls, no messages, no emails. I feel used. I guess because we aren't all on campus anymore and don't see each other on a regular basis, you have no need for me anymore. I guess I wasn't fortunate enough to have true friends who keep in touch no matter where we all are!

See, what I got from that conversation was that you think my friends are holding me back, I'm a spoiled little rich girl, and I'm a naive child that knows nothing about heartbreak.

Thanks for that, asshole.

You really know how to make a girl feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

I don't understand it.

You love me, and I love you.

Why can't we just be together?

i understand that you're busy and tired, but i really miss talking to you. you make me feel like myself.

Sometimes, I have all of these ideas and dreams and goals, and I feel completely confident that I can and will do all of them.

Other times, like right now, I wonder how real that actually is and realize I can't really see myself doing that stuff at all. I think that if something really bad were to happen to me, it would save me a lot of grief because people would remember me the way I am now, and before I end up failing everyone.

i hope you fail

i just want you to know your girlfriend flirts with my best friend every time you aren't around

i hate my best friend

i like watching gay sex

I'm going to start smoking because I feel the need to do something self-destructive that doesn't leave a scar.

I will never forget how you found me attractive when I felt so ugly. Thank you.

If I get another crappy score on another LSAT, I'm going to hang myself.

I would give anything to talk to you and hear your voice again- knowing that’s impossible kills me every day

I'm glad you're moving to Charlotte, it's such a great opportunity. You hate your job, and the new one will give you better pay, benefits (which you currently lack), better hours, more respect, more freedom, a better office, you'll be closer to your family...it's just so perfect for you. But when I found out that you want to break up when you move because you "can't do long distance", it made me wish I hadn't pushed so hard for you to find a better job. Is it terrible that I can't decide between you having a job that makes you miserable, but I get to be with you, or you having the perfect job, and I have to let you go.

I've ended all of my past relationships because I lost feelings for the other person.

I'm crazy about you, but you have become so apathetic. I don't think that anything is going to change. I don't know what to do. If you want to end things, I wish you'd be man enough to tell me.

Comment Here to submit a secret 6/9/08

when i woke up this morning, i had 2 tampons in. i'm not really sure how that happened...

I hear my old stalker just moved back to town. It's cool though, because he doesn't know how to find me. I almost wish he did, though, so I would have a reason to send my big angry brother to beat him up.

I beat myself up everyday for missing my chance. It's happened more times then I care to count now.

Comment Here to submit a secret 6/8/08

I think you might have Asperger's, but if you seem more normal than I feel, what does that say about me?

I'm not fat or anything, but I love eating. Many times I will try to steal my roommates food without them knowing, just because I am hungry. Sometimes, I even do it when they are looking just so we will talk about food.

i'm bad at making friends.

i keep my distance.

i come across as cold but i'm really just shy and think too much before i speak.

blah.

because my friends know i read this page all the time i'm worried they think some of the secrets here are about them, even though I've never posted before this. it's scary how many of these secrets are my own.

I'm having the time of my life this summer. I can't stop thinking about how much more fun it would be if you were here with me!

I came out as a bisexual during my sophomore year when I was working with a UNC theater production. When the actors did not believe I was bisexual, I went back into the closet. The only other person I have ever confessed my bisexuality to (offline) was my mother and she still has not believed me to this day.

I wake up every morning and wonder why I hurt so bad, even though I have the power to help others so well. I was called just the other the day kindest person someone knew, but I have no one to come to with my own problems, except this site. Holding the weight of the world on your shoulders, your back is bound to tire out I suppose...

I try to "fill up" my schedule so that I don't see you a lot. I do it to make you miss me, so that the next time I see you, you tell me how much you missed me and shower me with kisses. I really want this relationship to work, but I'm also tired of putting so much more effort into it than you do.

I feel like all my friends are having adventures abroad or doing cool, fun internships, and I'm stuck at home in a horrific minimum wage job. It makes me afraid for my future.

Comment Here To Submit A Secret 6/7/08

So even though my friends are certain that you like me (you behave like you do when we're alone) and when you talk to me you always bring up amazing plans to do fun things when school starts back up, I still wonder how a confident 'bad ass' like you could handle and maintain a relationship. I have some hope though, you match my wit and throw it back at me and when I act cocky or 'hostile' you just laugh and tease me back into my normal sweet behavior. Also you love my country accent and I love being able to be my old country girl self around you.

Choosing a major that I liked freshman year seemed like a wonderful idea at the time but as I enter my senior year I wonder if I'm actually going to be able to find a job after graduation

I have really high career goals. I think that I could be great at what I do.

I'm afraid to admit to the people I work with that I'd be willing to give all of it up to have a family with you.

now that you no longer trust me and confide in me with all your secrets, it seems like a quarter of these are from you. and it breaks my heart, i never tried to abandon you, but you felt that way, and so im scared you will never allow us to be like we were - the closest that partners could ever be, sharing everything, and holding each through every tough time.

I can't believe you actually wrote that on juicycampus.

I love you, grandma.

Comment Here To Submit A Secret 6/6/08

I was afraid of vampires when I was a little kid. Even now, I still can't fall asleep unless my neck is entirely covered by my blanket.

you're really good at acting like you don't care about stuff like that but IM SO GLAD that you admitted that you cared today. we are far apart and i really needed that. thank you!

If I don't get over my inability to masturbate in my parents' house soon, I am going to LOSE MY FREAKING MIND.

I've considered committing suicide, but now that I've seen how much it hurt my family when someone we cared about did it, I get sick just thinking about doing something like that. The people who do it, or want to do it, clearly haven't been close to someone who has.

Songs are great. They allow me to sing my secret...and yet still keep it a secret.

"My friends say-
They’re proud of me-
For taking our break up-
So casually-
But they don’t see-
What lies beneath my smile-

It appears-
That I’m okay-
That I moved on-
When you walked away-
But the truth is-
Since you said goodbye-

I’m invisibly shaken-
And quietly breakin’-
Desperately takin’ one breath at a time-
Beneath this composure-
I know it’s over-
Baby I’m dying cause you can’t be mine-
But I will never show the toll it’s taken-
Cause I’m invisibly shaken-"

I like you. You have a girlfriend. And that sucks.

I know you're missing him and not me. But I miss you more than ever these days.

Could you imagine a year ago we'd be here? I couldn't.

i used to think you would stop loving me if you knew all my secrets. but really it's just brought us closer together. i don't need to be mystery girl anymore.

For the first time I'm in a relationship and have no inkling of a feeling to wonder what it would be like with someone else. No other crushes, I don't even look at the others on the street and fantasize about them. I can only think about YOU. I love the feeling, but at the same time it scares me - could you really be the one I've been waiting for? We have a long and hard road ahead of us...I guess we'll see.

I'm afraid Obama won't live up to the hype if he's elected president, but I know that isn't a popular opinion w/ our generation, so I usually keep my mouth shut in political conversations.

I don't have feelings for you anymore. It took me awhile, but the inevitable finally hit me: we'll never be as close as we were, and I'll always think less of you for how you treated me. In the end, I AM glad we're still pretty good friends.

I hate that you gave your new girlfriend a pet name.

My parents treat my sister and I differently. It's very clear my dad likes her better. I'm sure they love us the same, but for some reason he ignores me when she's around. It really hurts my feelings.

Im drunk right now and the one thing im completely sure of is that i love my friends and that the fun i have with tthem is work all this trouble, and all the time apart. so what if i never find any soul mate, these people are my ones to live for.

For what it's worth, I know I'm not the most perfect, best-looking man on the planet Earth. And not even at UNC. But I feel like I deserve something, anything. I just need to crash into someone, connect for just a moment. I'm sick of being alone.

I have been a very responsible, moral person my whole life. I used to believe that someday I would be thankful for it and see the benefit. But, now I'm starting to wonder. Is it worth it? Am I missing out more than I am gaining?

Comment Here To Submit A Secret 6/4/08

I'm not asking to be everybody's everything...

I just want to be somebody's something...

I'm tired of being alone...

Where are you?

It's been a year and a half since we broke up. I'm just now starting to believe you probably aren't the one for me.

I only keep up our friendship now because I feel guilty for breaking up with you.

I'm terrified of achieving the goal I've been working towards my whole life just to realize that it's not what I want.

sometimes i wish my friends weren't so interesting

they make me feel boring and unaccomplished.

i cannot concentrate on anything. i am so horny ... all i think about is sex. and i'm a girl.

i wish i had a fuck buddy. no strings attached.

yours truly,
sexually frustrated

I've been talking to this new guy. He's awesome, dates are fun and everything and he's really really good for me. I like him a lot.

The only problem is the sex is REALLY bad. help!

It felt good to fuck him for fuck sake. To relentlessly punish him for hurting me the way he did. Too bad he liked it so much.

I know my ex's passwords. I hate that so much - I don't want to. But I do. And I logged into her facebook earlier today to see what she had been up to - to know how she was living her life without me.

I'm so ashamed. It's been 6 months.

see me as more than a friend. please.

This summer, we're supposed to take a break from each other. But we still talk, and for some reason, you've been penetrating my dreams, too. It's not a longing to be back with you...but it's really missing you as a friend. And it kills me that our boundaries will never let me have you like that.

im going to student health tomorrow. im getting help. im not backing down or chickening out.


im not telling anyone, i need to prove to myself im strong enough to do this on my own.

the rumblings of my empty tummy

both pick me up

and destroy me

Oh my God.

What am I doing?

I'm a sophomore in college. The world is boundless!

And I'm done thinking the world is small because I put it inside of you.

If it wasn't for Facebook reminders, I would never remember any of my friends' birthdays.

I'm happy for you, I truly am. I'm glad you're finding out who you are; I'm glad you've found someone.

But it's difficult for me. For almost two years now, I've wanted to be the girl for you. And now you've found him instead.

I don't know whether you're deceiving me again or not. I'm scared to get close to you again because if you were to do what you did before, it would absolutely crush me. I know that if you hadn't lied so many times before, I wouldn't be worried about this at all, but now I seriously have questions about your morality and it's hurting my ability to let you be my friend. The only way I know of protecting myself from you is to shut myself off from you emotionally.

Please, please, please don't hurt me again.

I mock all the girls who get engaged/married while they're still in college, but really I envy them. I'm tired of falling for all the wrong guys and looking for mr. right. I just want to find him already!!

the idea of dating you makes me giddy inside. I don't know if you'll ever see me this way though.

I wish I could go back to the first day of high school and change everything. I'd make sure we had gone to the same college. I always think about what we could have been like if we'd shared that experience together.

I make a point of telling people that I'm a top-tier student at a good university just because I know that, in conversation, I come across as an idiot.

i know you read this.

you're a bad friend. i'm starting to think you're also a bad person. i wish i could tell you that.

i'm worried i'll never be enough to be a guy's "everything"


i'm worried because i;m not even good enough for myself.

He played one too many games with me. Yesterday I told him I've had enough. And I actually meant it. And it was because of you. I keep trying to bring it up in conversation, but it never works, so I will just say it here. Thank you for making me strong.

I'm over you!

I'm friends with a girl who is perfect for me. she's beautiful, nice, funny, and smart. but unfortunately she has a boyfriend, and it's not me, but it could have been had I not missed my chance. I really suck at initiating those things and that is part of the reason I am leaving after the summer and not returning.

Please propose while we're at the beach...

I know you have the ring. You know I'll say yes.

Please, please, please!

You really suck at relationships.

At least, you suck at them with me.

Comment Here To Submit A Secret 6/3/08

you're not alone. i know.

(really and truly, i do.)

Please propose while we're at the beach...

I know you have the ring. You know I'll say yes.

Please, please, please!

You really suck at relationships.

At least, you suck at them with me.

How strange it is that I have no wish to die; you could even call it a thirst for life; yet I have my suicide - from the note, to the books to my left and to my right, and the manner all planned out.

i really REALLY like him

BUT


i'm just so worried i'll mess it up. i'm willing to admit to myself that i'm afraid of being hurt, of even lettin anyone close enough to have the chance. why why why

Comment here to submit a secret 5/31/08

When I first started dating my boyfriend, he told me that it would take a long time for him to get to a place where he could have sex with me.

It's been almost six months, I'm very much in love with him, and I'm so glad that we haven't had sex yet. SO GLAD.

I'm waiting until my wedding night until I have sex but sometimes it's really really difficult. I've thought about masturbation but I'm pretty sure that being a Christian means that that's not an option either. I really really do want to do the Godly thing, but it's really getting difficult.

I haven't been depressed like this for two years. I don't know if I'm strong enough to get out again.

Sometimes you're so lethargic around me and other friends of ours that are girls, then you perk up immediately when the guys come around. It's annoying and obvious.

I just looked at pictures of us together from last year and fall semester....REALLY looked at them. And I could see the life and love in your eyes and mine. I realized I hadn't felt an inkling of that or seen you like that in such a long time.

I cried a little over you for the first time in many months. Fuck.

1. you know I love you.
2. you know that I miss you and that I want to see you.
3. you're only home for three more days.
4. our paths won't cross again until August, if then.
5. call me, stupid.

thanks for inviting me, ass holes.

UNC's girls worry too much about being rail thin. I dont know about any of you, but I love a well done muffin top!

now that i think about it, i really did hate my roomate.

i lied to my parents about making deans list again.

Comment here to submit a secret 5/30/08

I worry that when I tell people now that I'm anorexic (I was nearly hospitalized when I was in middle school), they see my more-than-generous current body and don't believe me. I also worry that when I try to be encouraging to people who are struggling with the disease by sharing my success story, they look at me as their worst nightmare.

I just had sex in the back seat of my car. I feel dirty but OH SO fantastic!

why are there so many people with unrequited love on this site? and why aren't they about me?

I think I'm developing an eating disorder. The last several months have been really tough for me emotionally, and I can't eat when I'm upset. Now, I feel like I can't eat anyway, even though things are getting better in my personal life. I feel like if I know I should be eating more, I should be able just to eat more. The solution seems simple....so why can't I just make myself eat?

even though you did it in the most cowardly way, thank you for realizing what i should have realized. i just wish it wasn't awkward now.

I give up. I'm going to take the easy way out and just be a hardened jerk.

I give up. I'm going to take the easy way out and just be a hardened jerk.

Ever since I moved out of my place in Chapel Hill, I've lost all motivation to do anything. I'm starting this "great new chapter of my life" but all I want to do is stay in bed. I have a great new job and life ahead of me, so why am I so depressed?

Comment here to submit a secret 5/29/08

Whenever you slapped my face, it hurt. But when you slapped my face, it didn't sting, so it never hurt enough to count.
I've told no one, and I'm still not sure that I have anything to tell.
They were always "accidents." Too drunk, too strong, too careless. I'm just making a big deal of nothing...right?

I'm not calling you anymore. You can call me for once.

All you have to do is smile at me, and I forget all the reasons I'm supposed to stay away from you.


I hate myself for loving you, and even more for not having the strength to walk away.

I met someone and I'm falling way too fast. I know I should rear back but I don't want to and I'm not sure I can.

Heartbreak, here I come.

I wish my boyfriend didn't smoke pot.

even though you think you got away with lying to me, a few weeks after it happened, I still know that you lied. I've known since the day the lie took place, and you still lie about it to this day...
i don't know if i can really enjoy being with you until you tell me...

Recovering from anorexia is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I need a hug.

My friend always joked that I had a crush on you. I didn't, atleast not like that. But that day we talked forever by the pit...and you told me how pretty you thought my eyes were-it hit me that I definitely like you. But we are both in serious relationships...and both very much in love with our respective partners, so I will try my best not to think about you this summer, because I'm sure you won't be thinking of me.

I slept with a guy I met only a few days ago...and I feel like I've known him for years, and I think I'm falling in love with him already. I don't want this to happen so fast, I want to be cautious...but when he cuddles me, it feels so amazing, and that feeling is what gets me through the day. I don't wnat to fall so hard so fast because I know I'll only get hurt, but at the same time, it seems like he's falling just as hard for me too, or am I imagining it. That's what is racking my brain and preventing me from sleeping. I want you more than I've ever wanted anyone, and I've only known you for a few days. I hope you feel the same, because I couldn't survive one more heartbreak right now.

I'm really mad at you for making me feel so trapped, and for still making me feel that way even though we're not together anymore.

I'm trying. I promise, I really am.

I don't want to go back to Chapel Hill next year. I'd rather just leave on a good note so my friends don't figure out how awful I am.

I orgasmed for the first time yesterday via masturbation after trying to do so for several years...

I wasn't thinking of you.

i still have my vcard--you would never guess it--but i think it's because i feel as if i dont know HOW to do the physical stuff...am i the only one who feels like this??

sometimes i wish that i had scars from it
so that everyone forever could see what you did to me

but mostly i still love you and want you (the real you, the you you were before) back

I was disappointed when I came to college and there was no telekinesis club.

I'm a guy, an I pee sitting down at home. Seriously, you dont have to turn on the light, you never have to wonder if the seat is up or down, and there is no chance of splatter.

I've recently realized that I get very nervous every time someone brings up Jews, Judaism, Israel, or anything having to do with me being a Jew. I've been raised a Jew, but I'm beginning to think that I want nothing to do with it anymore.

But if that IS true, and I start exploring other faiths, my family would be so disappointed in me...

I don't ask about your dates because I care. I ask because I'm a glutton for punishment and want to be reassured that I have a chance.

It's only been a few weeks since I've graduated from UNC and I miss it so much already! UNC was my dream school and I had an amazing time there! I guess I am just afraid that I will never have as good of a time in life as I did during these "care free" college days of mine. Everyone keeps saying that college is the best 4 years of your life. This makes me sad and nervous because it makes it seem like everything in my life is going downhill and that I'll never relive these amazing moments again.

It's so hard to believe you when you say "don't worry about it" anymore...

Last time you lied. I just want to help.

I love that my best friend's ex-girlfriend is insanely jealous of me just from looking at pictures on Facebook. I love it even more that we've hooked up twice and she has no idea.

I was told by a friend when I was young that it's good luck to eat your own scabs.
It's never seemed to bring any luck... and yet, over ten years later, I'm still doing it...

I have a totally sweet, stable, kinda nerdy boy that is totally into me and I sort of like him back after knowing him for a few years. However, the guy I really want is the witty, rude, and antagonistic hottie I met last weekend.

Sigh.

Comment here to submit a secret 5/28/08

Comment here to submit a secret 5/26/2008

Comment here to submit a secret 5/25/2008

I wish you'd call me out when I'm a jerk to you. You think that you deserve to be treated rudely by me because you hurt me, but it's not true. You deserve better. But if you don't think so, why should I?

My roomates for next year are already fucking takin advantage of me. I'm seriously on the brink of just living by myself. But I know I'll just wuss out and, once again, give in to everyone else's demands.

It was a completely normal night; I was studying. I was in a good place. And then suddenly, out of nowhere, a memory surfaces of going with you to a sketchy pizza place with our best friend and the fun we had.

Good God, why? I wasn't even feeling hungry, much less for pizza.

I've graduated and don't start my "real job" for another few months. This in between phase sucks, I just want to go ahead and START my new life.

I love Naruto. LOVE it.

Sometimes I wonder if people see through me and realize how unintelligent I actually am.

I'm not coming back in the Fall and I still haven't told my parents. I think they will kill me, but I just can't sit there in school and pretend it's right for me anymore....

I haven't slept in 4 days since I stopped taking Lorcet. I've been throwing up a lot and I tihink my parents know whats going on.

I don't see what anyone can see in anyone else.

I am in Chapel Hill, with all of these people around me. It is Memorial Day Weekend, so I should have tons of stuff to do, but I have nothing to do. It kind of sucks.

I'm getting sick of waiting for you to call.

So, instead of letting you stew over how to "let me down easy," I'm going to help you:

You didn't mean as much as you thought. Goodbye.

I don't care about:
-My grades
-My future
-How much money I'm going to owe after I leave this place.
I could graduate with a 2.4 and become nothing more than a housewife and be fine with that. I came here almost exclusively for basketball, I've somehow gotten into every game thus far (Dook included), and I know I made the right choice. But every day that goes by without Danny and Wayne and Ty un-declaring from the draft, I start to panic a little more...

Im taking it as a sign that after this fight our favorite show is on a marathon. Hope we have a marathon too.

we had sex again this morning, and i still can't make myself feel bad about it.

it feels right, and i'm sorry.

i honestly did want to get back together, but then i realized what a dick you are.

thank god it didn't take me all summer to get over you...

i dont think you realized how hurt/angry i was last night. sometimes i feel that because you are such a nice guy that i can not get angry at you, because you never intentionally do things to hurt my feelings. but my gosh, if you had called me last night, i might have exploded over the phone. you have no idea.

I really, really want to make out with someone. I'm starting to have random feelings for my guy friends that I know wouldn't be there if I wasn't so deprived.

I really miss you. More than you probably know. And Im glad I got to speak to you and embrace you before I left for the summer. I was stupid enough to walk away without getting your number. And someting makes me think that you wanted me to have it.

If someone gave me the chance to live forever, I would do it. I don't think I'd be lonely. I'm lonely now, and at least if I lived forever I'd never stop learning and seeing new things.

I think I'm getting addicted to the valium I'm prescribed, but then again I think I may be using it appropriately and just wasn't before. Its really hard to trust myself sometimes.

I'm at a university and am surrounded by intelligent, attractive girls. The m/f ratio is even in my favor. So why do I ignore them and keep trying to date girls I used to go to high school with?

I can't decide whether I'm too good, or not good enough...

We've been together for a few months now, but I'm afraid that you won't ever really love me.

I'm in love with you.

I'm afraid to say it first.

I intentionally hit on cocky guys, let them buy me drinks and even get my number. then I don't return their calls. I know it's mean, but being a former "ugly girl" I get such a rush from being able to take them down a few pegs.

I'm addicted to prolific. the pathetic part is I'm not even good at it, but I can't stop playing.

I love your eyes and your laugh and your everything. I love how comfortable we are with each other. I know that we are far from perfect together, but if anything happened to you, I would die. I love you so much-- how could I have been blind for so long? And why do I still think about him?

You messed up our perfect goodbye when you forgot to confess that you love me. I'm going to find someone new while I'm away and I hope I can forget what I thought we had.

How do you get over a 3 yr relationship? He is the love of my life and I thought he was the one...

I work for the computer labs on campus, and I really hate you assholes.

if it weren't for the pain i know i would inflict on my parents and friends... i would kill myself.

Comment here to submit a secret 5/23/08

my goal for the summer is to not fall for me.


wish me luck.

I know you hate those pictures of yourself from a few years ago because you were a little heavier.

I'm not looking at that, though. It's the same smile, and the same gorgeous eyes.

So no, I don't tell a difference.

And no, I don't think you're fat.

i'm scared that i don't love you anymore, but you're being such a dick right now that i just can't make myself give a shit.

i'm sorry that i'm cheating on you.

i missed him.

Your choice to not talk to me this summer gives me the chance to get closer to him without being afraid...and ruins your chance of anything. Sorry.

Comment here to submit a secret 5/22/08

At one point, you were my best friend. I know that we've grown apart, and I accept that. I really do. I still love you as deeply as i did before.

I wish you'd talk to me, though. I know you're in pain and I want to help. Just to listen.

Can we please become part of each others lives again? I miss you.

I listen to mugglecast. I don't know why that's so embarassing, but I go to lengths to make sure that no one knows!

I despise people who talk in "abrevs"

Even though he isn't my boyfriend (yet), I already fucking hate the girl who flirts with him constantly via his facebook wall. Get a life!

I don't hate your girlfriend. I just hate the fact that she's living the life that I was supposed to have with you. Have a great romantic-getaway at the beach this weekend. I secretly hope that you get in a wreck and that she doesn't live through it. but then karma would probably not be on my side.

I hope I have sex with so many girls this summer, or at least one, so that you won't still be my last after all these months.

i skip samson every time now.

My ex and I learned together that he likes to spank his partners/I like to get spanked. But now, I would have no idea how I would ever ask someone new to do those things to me, even though I want it so much.

I know I said I wouldn't take sides, but really? He's right. You're being a bitch.

When we both agreed it wouldn't mean anything, I desperately wanted it to mean everything to you.

I finally realized you were the one for me and everything was perfect… only a few months later you passed away unexpectedly… now I am alone to pick up the pieces… and I am afraid I won’t ever be able to move on because I will always compare others to you

I want to be a whore, and sleep with as many guys and girls as possible.

I'm just a sexual guy...

Every time we're on the phone and I tell you that I'm reading this site, it's because I've posted a secret that I don't have the nerve to say to you, and I keep hoping you'll check it out and wonder if that one is from me.

Care more.

I'm not anti-social... I'm just sick of you!

i wish i could even remotely relate to any of the posts about broken hearts and love. i want to be broken hearted!! they really are right about better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all :(

i's the basic "girl is in love with her really good guy friend scenario." i've known him since highschool, and he liked me freshman year, but it just didn't work out. we've been friends ever since. and it's not even about looks for me, he just has one of the most amazing personalities ever. and he is so driven that he inspires me to do things i never in a million years EVER thought i could do. but there's a problem: i'm pretty sure he doesn't see me the same way. and i hate it.

I don't know if I can make it through the summer without kissing a guy who liked my friend before school was over.

I'd never commit suicide, but sometimes I wonder if it'd be worth it just to make my family like me again.

Life is so complicated. And I have no answers - not one. No matter how earnestly I try to sort the world around me. No matter how much I try to make sense of the past nor how much I try to understand myself, or what's "right." Not only virtue of character, but virtue of thought.

It's so overwhelming. What I would give for the certainty and conviction of youth mixed with the experience and wisdom of age.

Does "just good friends" mean I'm way too ugly for him? Honestly? Because, that's what I say when I don't find them attractive...

Working 40 hour weeks this summer at my internship has made me kind of depressed about what the rest of my life's going to be like after I graduate.

Comment here to submit a secret 5/21/08

just because i have unrequited feelings for you doesn't mean i'm an idiot. quit looking at me like i'm going to pounce on you like a drooling puppy. geez.

I can feel myself being a huge unreasonable bitch to you all the time and still can't stop. But you always let me get away with it, so I have a hard time even feeling bad.

I feel completely alone and terrified. And I want to tell you and I want you to hold me and I know I can't because I love you too much. I can't help but want to protect you from how bad this feels. I guess it does help some, knowing that at least one of us is happy and carefree right now.

You smell like cocoa butter days after putting it on.

I used to associate the smell with unknown unattractive things in my mind but now I think of you.

Thanks for helping me reclaim a smell!

I honestly don't think I'm good enough for the career I want, the love I want, the friends I want, the life I want.

Incubus sings, "So would I be out of line, if I said, I miss you?"

I think the answer is yes. So I don't tell you how much I miss not being around you this summer.

I'm not sure which scares me more: the thought that you might not know I miss you...or the thought that you might not miss me.

I'm only happy when I'm eating.

Comment here to submit a secret 5/20/08

I have a friend who uses me whenever she needs something. I secretly hate her for it.

The fact that you confessed to having feelings for me despite knowing I'd never reciprocate pisses me off, and it won't bother me if it ruins our friendship.

My boyfriend is the only guy that's ever given me an orgasm. I've hooked up with plenty of other guys and it's always been unsatisfying, uncomfortable, or even painful. Does this mean he's the one?

I can't wait for college to be over so I can apply to grad school and start over in another new place. I love my friends and UNC, I just can't slow down and I don't know why.

This time, I'm in love with you.

But I've gotten so far with my current boyfriend, and I don't have the time or patience for another "project."

I'm sorry for thinking of you like that, but you're so far away and if you can't understand that I need you to need ME sometimes, then I don't know what else to do but shut you out of my life before I'm in too deep.

Yes, I'm talking to you again, but I'm never going to take you back. Quit trying to woo me.

having a roommate that's engaged kind of sucks.

I either need more from you, or for you to just leave me alone. Being in the middle is wearing me down.

Having to see you everyday doesn't bother me at all, it just reminds me of how lucky I am that we're not together anymore.

I am the best motivational speaker, because I know all the things I wish I could hear but nobody tells me.

I miss your dog more than I miss you.

I kissed a guy for the first time Friday night. I was just standing there when he came up and kissed me. It was my first same-sex kissed and I liked it.

It was only a friend and I don't think he thinks anything about it. But that's all I can think about. I want more.

I feel dirty.

i just had the greatest sex i've ever had with the love of my life.

i keep trying to make myself feel sorry, because it wasn't with my boyfriend. but i can't.

I hope with every fiber of my being that you never make it into med school and that you never become a doctor. If you didn't care about someone you said you loved, how could you possibly care for a stranger? You just want the money, car, house and prestige. Me on the other hand? I will work hard towards something I am passionate about... in the end, you won't have the life, and I WILL.

If you let me down this time, I swear, I'm done with you.

I wish I had a best friend

The last time I really talked to you was on the phone right here under this tree in this daily picture. Afterward I lay face down in the grass exactly in the center of this picture and cried while people walked by. I wonder if my tears even slightly helped it bloom so beautifully...

I pity you, for making fun of me and not taking an interest in me because I am heavier than most girls.

You missed out on the best thing in your life.

As cliche as it sounds, big girls need love, we have a lot of love to give.

Before I went to Carolina, Alumni told me that I would fall in love with the place and be so sad to leave it. I feel ashamed that I was so happy to graduate because I didn't have to come back to Carolina... i feel like it makes em a bad Alum.

To my old roommate: You're a horrible roommate and person. You are not attractive, and every girl you meet does not want to bang you. I'm glad I don't have to deal with your superiority complex anymore.

To my future roommate: You're amazing. You're the sister I never had. I really do love you, and you know it.

I'm developing a big crush on my new house-mate. I am kind of hoping that the summer apart from her boyfriend breaks them up. Until then, or in lieu of that, I'll just enjoy the cute girl who lives below me. I just wish she didn't seem so perfect for me.

I wish you weren't studying abroad. I'm sorry to be selfish, but I'll miss you too much.

I hate the memory of old. I'm getting better at dealing with the fact that we've split up - and it actually helps to think of the you of now rather than the you of old when it hurts inside.

Memories though of happier times; and telling each other that we would never leave one another - what weight do words of love to our future lovers now hold?

It's still incomprehensible to me to think that you can fall out of love after feeling something that felt so permanent. And yet it's happened to me. Twice.

I think I've done something really bad... you'd laugh if you heard it, but it's tearing me apart.

I feel cruel for hoping that I am unwittingly somebody's "one that got away". not because I want to feel desirable, but because it would mean at least one other person would feel this unrequited and terrible.

I am really good friends with my boyfriend's best friend and the three of us have a very close relationship. We all hang out a lot and joke about threesomes and me having sex with his best friend.

The thing is, I'm not so sure his best friend is joking about wanting to have sex with me.

I don't know why I always date assholes when you are the guy I should want to be with. You say and do all the right things, you are always there for me. I wish I could make myself fall in love with you.

I have a crush on you and I don't even really know you. The couple of times we've met and spoke, I've been in awe. There is just this intellectual vibe coming from you that's absolutely irresistible. I would love to get to know you better but it's now summer and I'm going abroad in the fall.

I'm supposed to be saving up my money from graduation gifts for rent money but I splurged on a $200 dress.

I deserve it.

my house keeper is SO loud and wakes me up every morning. I'm just too scared to say anything.

Comment here to submit a secret 5/19/08

i woke up in time to go to an exam for a class i knew i was going to fail anyway ..

and rolled over and went back to sleep

but it doesn't matter now!

I feel guilty letting anyone else use my laptop when I know how much I've masturbated while using it!

I posted this secret in april...

"it took a year and a half, but i think I'm finally over him! But i'm afraid that all the feelings i've worked hard to get rid of will come back when i see him this summer...

Posted by E at 10:28 PM 1 comments"

And now I'm falling head over heels again. Why is it so hard for me to stay away from him??? I'm frustrated but also shamefully happy

I'm beginning to think that my best friend and best guy friend have had something going on that I don't know about. It feels like I got a door slammed in my face.

I'm dying to make out with my best guy friend. Not because I'm attracted to him, but because all my other girl friends have...is he really that good??

When I came to Carolina 2 years ago I cut almost all my ties to friends and acquaintances from high school. I never regret that decision until I'm home for the summer and have no one...

You make it impossible for me to hate you. Even when you say something absolutely idiotic, I love you more.

I can't stand that you're not with me.

i am still miserably in love with you.

and i know i shouldn't have told you, but it still killed me that you didn't say "i love you too".

I tell you that I hate you for hurting me because you didn't want to try again this summer. And I do hate you for it. But I don't know if I want you back because I actually still love you, or just because I want a boyfriend again, or even just because I wasn't the one that dumped you.
I hate that I want a boyfriend so badly and I hate that I'll never find anyone I'll feel as comfortable with as I did with you. But no, I really don't want you back because you were the worst boyfriend in the world, you never did a thing for me except made me think that love could still be love, even when it was so one-sided

Comment here to submit a secret 5/18/08

I wish they made an 'I'm sorry I screwed your boyfriend' card. Even though you broke up, I'm still messing around with him, and I just can't find a way to tell you. So here goes:

You're my best friend. I'm so sorry.

i say that i trust you, but i don't really mean it.
i just don't want to be THAT person that demands you not do the things you want.


but, i think the only reason i don't trust you is that i can't trust myself.

I'm absolutely in love with the campus squirrels. I find them fascinating.

im really scared about having a handicapped child one day , either mentally or physically. i want so badly to have a perfect kid. i dont think i could handle it if it wasn't!

Among the many reasons that we could never be just friends, one of them is that if you stay with the guy you're with now, I could never respect you again. Being attracted to him makes makes me seriously question your taste and thus myself.

when I was young and first discovered AOL an older man/stranger IMed me. he started talking about sexual things i didn't understand.
he told me to see if i saw a whitish bump above my vagina which would be my "clitoris". i found it and thought it was bad, like it was a zit or something. i kept trying to get rid of it, take it off.
my obgyn has never mentioned anything being off, but i'm constantly afraid there's something wrong with it becuase of this, and that maybe that's why i've never figured out how to masturbate successfully.

I have no idea what to do with my pubic hair. I'm afraid of grossing a guy out.

We broke off contact for the last time; I still loved you, you didn't love me. And I'm generally ok now - I've accepted it, even though I haven't been able to move on.

But damn it, when I see a picture of you, my whole world comes crashing down. Especially at night because I don't want to be THAT person - waking up my friends at 3am and being a bother because I need help.

I confessed to one my secrets yesterday. I feel fearless, and so much more comfortable in my own skin.

I love acting and saying things that are sexy. But when it comes to actually having sex with the guys I've egged on, I'm scared out of my mind. I love teasing and that's it... for now at least.

I'm 21 years old and just graduated college, but I LOVE the movie high school musical.

I remembered today that years ago when I was little, my parents thought I was allergic to broccoli for some reason. I hated broccoli, so I just played along, even though I'd eaten it at friends houses all the time and never had an allergic reaction. I'd forgotten that I'm not actually allergic because I've lied for so many years just to avoid having to eat it.

Comment here to submit a secret 5/17/08

Instead of getting into a fight and telling you exactly how much you hurt me, I decided to let you go. I can't hold on anymore.

As much as it hurts, I know I made the right decision.

I stayed online for hours hoping that you will message me, but you never do. I check my phone all the time hoping that I have a text from you, but I never do. I try so hard to convince myself that I'm fine with us just being friends, but I don't know how to change the way I feel toward you. I wish you missed me the same way that I miss you.

I really think we're meant to be together. I think you know it too. Why are you so scared?

I've dreamed about you the last few nights in a row. I know they don't mean anything, but I'm amused and saddened that even in my dreams my feelings for you are so clearly unrequited (and that feelings I thought I'd kicked to the curb are rearing their ugly heads again).

We broke up over a year ago. We've each dated other people since then. Yet you still keep hoping we'll somehow end back up together. Why can't you understand that until you get past the idea of "us", we won't even be able to be friends?

when i found out you died this morning in a car wreck i went into shock. I've been reading all of our old and recent messages to each other online and I don't think it's completely sunk in that you're gone...

that the next time I message you online you won't ever be there to respond again.

I hope where you are there's a beautiful beach and a big, friendly dog you can call your own....I know you'll want to be there forever. I do hope wherever you are you're happy....I miss you and love you, buddy....thank you for making me see that the moon is really so beautiful....

I wish you understood that when we hang out what I ACTUALLY want is for you to just cuddle with me. Because I think you would if you figured it out.

Comment here to submit a secret 5/16/08

you keep promising we'll hang out and it never happens. I only have a few weeks left here, why do I keep believing you??

I honestly think I'm fat.

I've wished so many times that I had the self-discipline to be anorexic. How do they do it??

I told myself I wasn't going to let my happiness depend on a guy anymore. But I get sad if a day goes by and I don't get to talk to you.

when my roomate isnt here i am naked all the time in our apt...it's just so liberating

I think I like the you I talk to on AIM better than the in-person you. It's always such a let-down when we hang out.

I think that I am more afraid to be vulnerable than I am of being alone--but just barely.

you keep surprising me with the new levels you sink to.

Once, I slept with three guys in the same month. No one would ever believe that I would do something like this. For the first time in my life, I have a secret that I can't admit to ANYONE and it makes me feel alone.

i've been sure of my major and career plans since high school, but today i decided i wanted to change. but now its too late.

I really do love both of you. It sucks.

I love our late night conversations, and how you make me laugh, and everything else that you're so good at that he stopped doing years ago.

...But the next day, I always end up having sex with him.

i let my weight dictate my happiness.

I think we're meant to be together. I think you know it too. Why can't we just admit it?

Your dad sent me a picture of you today. I hadn't seen an updated picture of you in over 6 months. Even though we broke up almost 2 years ago I still remembered the exact curve of your lips and the way your eyes crinkle up in the corners, and how your hair falls into your eyes.

I'm in love with him. I wouldn't be with him if I weren't. But why did I suddenly miss you so badly when I saw that picture?

i just cut myself for the first time in 2 years...i thought i'd finished with that.

Comment here to submit a secret 5/15/08

It's not that I don't want to hang out with you. It's just that if we go to that place, we'll probably run into your girlfriend. Then I'll remember why you and I aren't that close in the first place.


(You didn't want me. I still think about it every day.)

I used to not remember my dreams. It was funny how I'd wake up and have no recollection of anything.

But these past few months I have... and I hardly ever have happy dreams. I didn't think it was possible to wake up with such negative and crappy feelings every day.

I don't understand why. I'm a happy person. Why can't I just dream happy? It's really starting to get to me.

i wanted you to spend your last night in chapel hill with me. I guess you had better people to spend it with.

Please don't come visit if you're having sex with someone else. I know you like me, why are you so afraid of only being with one person?

since i met him, i have cheated on every boyfriend i've ever had with him.
but, it feels more like i'm cheating on him with every boyfriend i've ever had.

i love you more than anyone, but i won't tell you.

i'm scared i will never learn how to be faithful.

I graduated three days ago, and it already depresses me that I can no longer watch TV, hang out with, or talk frequently with my roommate. Having to move and grow up really sucks at this moment.

Mainly, I just miss my friend.

Comment here to submit a secret 5/14/08

I am sleeping with someone you know well. You know we are doing it, just admit it to yourself and let me leave you.

It's just so screwed up that I think you'll be proposing soon.

I'm going to say no, it's just not fair to you.

I keep getting uglier as I get older.

I can't stop thinking about last night. But I don't think it meant anything to you.

Every time I read a secret about someone being secretly in love with a good friend, I pretend its you.

But I'm pretty sure you have no idea this website exists.

I wish you would get over me and just leave me behind... its makes me sad that you are feeling so upset about us breaking up. i kind of want to get back with you so you wont feel so bad, but that would be out of pity and you wouldn't want that... would you?

1 year at UNC showed me that not everyone is in it for themselves.

Thanks.

Two years ago, a girl accused me of getting her pregnant. Not knowing what to do, and respecting her decision to keep the child, I asked her to marry me.

It turned out that she wasn't pregnant, and never had been.

So when you wonder why I'm distant and fear commitment, it's because the biggest commitment of my life was based upon a lie.

I'm afraid that without even thinking about it I just ruined the best thing that ever happened to me.

You only like me when you have exhausted the search to find a reason not to.

Comment here to submit a secret 5/13/08

what was that casual goodbye? i thought we were better friends than that, and it's not like we'll be seeing each other again anytime soon

Last year, I had everything one needs to be truly happy - then I took on an internship over the summer, ended up by myself with no friends or companions (not for lack of trying), and spent every day in isolation.

It showed me that the mental strength I thought I had was a farce, and the resulting depression from acute loneliness fundamentally changed me as a person.

Then this year happened, and I lost it all - love, friendship, and everything that I thought defined me as a good person.

And so I sit on my bed, at home this summer. But life is cruel - though I'm now at the place I would've given my all to be last summer, I'm lonelier and more in need of a hug and a reassurance from a friend than I ever have been.

And I have no one here.