When I first started dating my boyfriend, he told me that it would take a long time for him to get to a place where he could have sex with me.
It's been almost six months, I'm very much in love with him, and I'm so glad that we haven't had sex yet. SO GLAD.
Friday, May 30, 2008
I just looked at pictures of us together from last year and fall semester....REALLY looked at them. And I could see the life and love in your eyes and mine. I realized I hadn't felt an inkling of that or seen you like that in such a long time.
I cried a little over you for the first time in many months. Fuck.
I cried a little over you for the first time in many months. Fuck.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
I worry that when I tell people now that I'm anorexic (I was nearly hospitalized when I was in middle school), they see my more-than-generous current body and don't believe me. I also worry that when I try to be encouraging to people who are struggling with the disease by sharing my success story, they look at me as their worst nightmare.
I think I'm developing an eating disorder. The last several months have been really tough for me emotionally, and I can't eat when I'm upset. Now, I feel like I can't eat anyway, even though things are getting better in my personal life. I feel like if I know I should be eating more, I should be able just to eat more. The solution seems simple....so why can't I just make myself eat?
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