I agree. I used to be so skinny, and I used to have mad willpower. I'm not fat, but I'm definitely not skinny anymore. It's my own fault. I want my willpower back.
my ex-girlfriend used to have an eating disorder, and she told me her bulimia gave her a sense of control - so many things in her life were going wrong, but she could control her weight, and she felt good about controlling her weight. but if she binged, she felt like a failure because she'd lost control. it was a vicious cycle, because no matter how strict she was with herself, eventually she had to eat and then she felt guilty. i loved her and it hurt me to see the kind of pain she was in. i guess your post just reminded me of her, and i just want to say i understand and I empathize with you, and hope that you find a sense of control that doesn't put you in the same vicious cycle.
4 comments:
i agree. i'd much rather feel hungry but be skinny, and it depresses me when i eat but i cant seem to stop myself
I agree. I used to be so skinny, and I used to have mad willpower. I'm not fat, but I'm definitely not skinny anymore. It's my own fault. I want my willpower back.
I wish I had the will power to have an ED. I'm trying to make myself have that will power...it's not working, and I'm gaining more and more weight.
my ex-girlfriend used to have an eating disorder, and she told me her bulimia gave her a sense of control - so many things in her life were going wrong, but she could control her weight, and she felt good about controlling her weight. but if she binged, she felt like a failure because she'd lost control. it was a vicious cycle, because no matter how strict she was with herself, eventually she had to eat and then she felt guilty. i loved her and it hurt me to see the kind of pain she was in. i guess your post just reminded me of her, and i just want to say i understand and I empathize with you, and hope that you find a sense of control that doesn't put you in the same vicious cycle.
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