I feel like i am always there for my friends. But when it's my turn, no one is there for me.

I never thought I would miss my hometown very much after I left. But today, all I want to do is go back. There's something about the air outside. And if I close my eyes, I can see myself there again. I wish I could go home.

Once, last year, I got drunk alone in my dorm room. I couldn't sleep and was feeling depressed and it was there so I did it. I don't think I'd do it again, but I can't forget it happened.

Everyone I meet has a girlfriend. I have at least three couples on waiting to break up standby, and they never do. It's depressing.

Sometimes I don't know the difference between being idealistic and delusional. That scares me a lot.

Comment Here to Submit a Secret 2/11/09

From the Moderators

Dear Loyal Readers,

We appreciate all of the secrets that you have trusted to our site. We would encourage you to re-read the "How It Works," "The Idea," and "Warning Label" on the side of the page to refresh our collective memories as to what the goals of this site are.

Let us try to remain supportive and keep within the spirit of PostSecret.

Thanks so much,
The Moderators.

When I liked someone else, I wrote a few songs, as I like to do, and they were mediocre at best. Since meeting, and falling in love with you, I can't remember the last day I didn't work on at least one song about you, and these songs are much better. Thank you for being my muse, and I intend to tell you what you mean to me on saturday. Love You.

I think it's ironic that girls bitch about guys liking more "feminine" girls who actually show a certain level of needing the guy in their life, and how some guys don't find it attractive when girls try so hard to be so hard-nosed independent from anyone(like, straight-up feminist).

But when a guy isn't a prick and he isn't macho, and doesn't drink and party and can actually speak in coherent sentences, and if he shows the slightest inclination of perhaps wanting you around, suddenly he's a "nice guy" who you're just friends with, even though he's the one who's most likely to take a bullet for you, and still keep alive long enough to make sure you've gotten away.

At the end of the day I'm all about abstinence, but there are so many times where I seriously just want to go out and make a girl's wildest fantasies come true, and have the satisfaction of knowing I did.

I've looked back and realized (and have been told) that the vast majority of my female friends were pretty into me. It's rather interesting to know, and yet even so, I still struggle to believe that it's possible.

I still want you. I wish I didn't. Every time I think about it, I feel a little sick inside.

Sometimes I wish I could just sleep with other people. My friend does it so casually, and I'm so horny! I just can't do that, though. I need to really know and trust the person. Dammit.

I hate asking my roommate for money, but she totally owes me $50.

Suddenly, despite all of the shit, I find myself missing you. I don't want you back... I just want someone to talk to, and I miss what we had.

I've ignored other secrets you've let slip lately, but this time it's tougher for me to do that. I just don't understand why you thought it was okay to tell someone else something like that.

I'm not going to get on your case about it, though. I love you and I know you mean well.

When you came out to me, you talked about how scared you've been your entire life and you said I couldn't understand how much it hurts not to be able to be who you are inside.
You were wrong.

I still have trouble believing he is as "completely in love with me" as he claims. My secret problems like this are secretly destroying our relationship and I hope I can fix my inhibitions before its too late because I at least know I want both of us to feel that way, and I think we do.

I'm working out, dieting and losing weight the right way. I feel great! I haven't nearly reached my goals yet, but I know I'm on the way. One of them is to be in a lot better shape than when we dated, and who you currently do. Thanks for that extra edge of motivation!

I don't care about the student body president race. I just don't. I hate it when you come to my dorm room (Didn't housing prohibit this?), I hate it when you bother me as I try to go to Lenoir, and I even ripped my jacket on one of the A-frames in the pit this weekend. I'm voting for Hallie Lipsey.

Comment Here to Submit a Secret 2/9/09

While I recognize that I have a ton of time left and that I'm probably at least somewhere around average-looking, I worry every day that I'll die a virgin.

My friend just asked me for my leftover painkillers to sell so that they could make ends meet, giving me some of the profit. Part of me finds it despicable, and part of me could really use the extra cash.

Ever since I was raped, I have stopped caring about who I have sex with. I'm secretly hoping that one will realize I am the girl they have been hoping to find and that they will love me.

I hate how cynical I've become toward men in college.

it broke my heart, too

Comment Here to Submit a Secret 2/7/09

I was the one who put up the fake SBP A-frame in the pit, and no one even suspects me.

I judge people who wear Uggs.

I'm in pain all the time, have doubts about my own abilities, and can't pipe up to the girl I've fallen for. But I realize now that I'm loved no matter what, and that life is a beautiful thing. I'm (and hope you do, too) going to seize it!

I haven't had sex in almost 2.5 years, and I'm really okay with it.

Sometimes I steal food from places that I think are over charging.

Sometimes, I use your shampoo and conditioner. Sorry.

the only thing that gets me through the day is seeing you

Yes, you were in my class last semester, too. Yes, I see you looking over at me, and yes I look back. So talk to me already!

I have a huge crush on you. Seeing you makes me lighter on my feet. Even though it won't ever come to anything, thanks for making my life just a little bit happier.

I wish God would send me a sign of what I'm supposed to do next year.

I know I complain a lot, but I LOVE life right now...for the first time in a long time I'm seeing the beauty in everything again!

Comment Here to Submit a Secret 2/6/09

Next time I piss you off, tell me. Because hearing it through channels just pisses me off, and it gets worse.

you know those intellectual crushes? where you're drawn to someone because they're so smart and confident about it? I have one on you, you should know.

You say you love my laugh, and I can make you laugh, which in turn makes me laugh. I never feel closer to you than when we are laughing.

For a sociopath, I'm way too nice to people. When they think we're friends, it just annoys me. Let's keep it casual, please.

I'm sorry that I keep talking to you all the time because I know that you're really busy, but you know that you're the one that I want to talk to all the time. Besides, you seem to be one of the only ones that actually answers me.

i love the (completely inappropriate) things you say to me when you call me late at night

"but I believe in you so much, I could die for the words that you say...I believe in you so much, I could die from the words that you say"

Comment Here to Submit a Secret 2/4/09

I too can be a flirt but have the opposite problem, everyone assumes I like them. Once I ended up dating a guy I had no interest in. I felt bad that he assumed we were together and didnt want to live up to my heartbreaking reputation so convinced myself I kind of liked him.

I flirt with everyone, so when I'm actually flirting to get a guy's attention, no one takes me seriously.

I wish I could get a better read from you on how you feel about me.....

I'm glad we're done. You're heart was in the right place, but theres a boundary of give/take, and using me.

I'm scared to death of Valentine's Day because I know I'll just be in my dorm room alone again.

I'm starting to realize the real reason the spark went out between us. I just need to be single for a little while... because I never really have been. But you're amazing, and I think I want to be with you in the long run. I'm scared I'm throwing what we have away and I won't be able to get it back.

I bought "The Courage to Heal" and "The Sexual Healing Journey" over break. I'm scared that someone will find the books, but I'm more scared to read them. I want so badly to be over this--what ever that means--but am terrified of the process of getting there.

People who did not go to UNC and claim to be die-hard fans and know everything about UNC for some odd reason annoy the crap out of me.

You didn't get to spend 4 years at UNC and you don't know about all the experiences that make one UNC alum.

I know this is dumb but it really bugs me when a friend of mine who just moved to the area 2 years ago and had no prior knowledge of UNC acts as if she is the biggest fan and knows all about my undergrad experience.

All of our friends like my best friend more than they like me. It's not that she doesn't deserve to be well liked; she's one of my favorite people in the world. I just wish that the people I'm really close to didn't always end up being closer to her.

Comment Here to Submit a Secret 2/3/09

Sometimes, I wonder if I'm only interested in him because I want to make you jealous.

I act distant to you because you are not my best friend, even if you think I am yours. I have many friends, I am sorry you don't, and I am sorry I don't feel as close to you as you want.

I keep imagining myself screaming. I can hear it in my head. Screaming in frustration, or actually screaming at other people. I'm worried that I might actually do it someday.

I yelled at you today. I never yelled at you when we were together, and I feel strangely vindicated. But what I said today is true -- you never took me seriously.

How can you pretend there was nothing between us? From the summer to last semester, you became someone I didn't know within a week. You felt it, I felt it, just admit it, instead of staring at me with those eyes every time we're around eachother.

Remember when pulled me away and said "You know what I'm most afraid of?...That when I finally realize I'm supposed to be with you, it will be too late."

I never forgot

Whenever we talk, it's always all about you. I told you about some huge problems in my life, and you haven't asked about them since. This just reinforces my view that being close to someone is pointless, people are transient, and I am wasting my time.

Every time I see a secret on here about a best friend sucking, I get scared that it's my best friend. Really, any time I see any secret that could even remotely be applied to me that expresses negative opinions about someone, I worry it's me. Then I try to correct whatever it is the secret complains about. I'm not sure if this process is making me a better person or just giving me low self-esteem with impossible goals for self-improvement.

I'm still not sure what I'm searching for...

I really hate football and the Super Bowl. I also hate the fact that if I don't pretend I have some slight interest in it, I wind up sitting alone all evening.

Comment Here to Submit a Secret 2/2/09

You're my best friend, so why do you act distant half the time? Maybe if I had a penis things would be different.

I keep thinking that some Saturday night, I'll be out at a bar and I'll see you and we'll end up going home together.
Then I think how awesomely awkward it would be at our staff meeting the next evening - but it would be worth it, of course.

I like you, a lot. But I can only wait so long for you to figure out that the person you are waiting for to walk into your life, that vision of the perfect specimen of human being that is just your type, doesn't exist. I am the person that you should be with. And I can't promise you that when you do figure it out I will still be waiting.

you make me feel so naked, small, and vulnerable....

It's hard to believe I'm alone in a campus with so many people.

But I do.

Last year, when I finally decided you'd never like me back, I started dating someone else. I needed to move on. But a part of me never gave up on you.

This year, I found out you did like me, and since then, I haven't been able to get over the possibility of us being together. I love you, and I'd give you everything. I just wish you weren't so angry with me, because maybe then you'd believe me.

Work on your intuition. I am not, never have been, and never will be interested in you. For the past year I've avoided spending alone time with you and I've dodged your attempts to talk dirty with me. Yet somehow, this was not obvious enough for you.

I am sorry that our conversation was awkward, but I have done everything I could to ensure that you never broached the topic.

Comment Here to Submit a Secret 1/31/09

i know we're friends, but I want to be more...

When I'm walking to class, I Play a game where I see how many people i can get to smile with my smile. I hope it makes someone's day better.

I read academic blogs every day waiting for a professor to complain about me.

I hate seeing you around campus. You just remind me of how stupid and nervous I acted when we were dating.

I'm not going to give up on you. I love you and miss you too much to do that.

I kept telling myself that I'd stay in it until you broke it off. It wasn't working, and I knew it, but I loved you so much that I left it up to you. And that's exactly what happened-- you broke it off. Now you're dating someone else and are under the impression that I'm fine: that we're friends.

Comment Here to Submit a Secret 1/29/09

I need to stop being so mean to you. I'm just waiting for the day when you call me out on it and stop being my friend.

Until I know decisively if we have another chance or not, anyone I date is just a stand in, or a tryst. You're so far away, but I haven't given up. It's pathetic.

I freaked out a bit for several weeks after this blog was supposed to come back online and never did. I felt like I lost my connection to Carolina. I gave up after a few months and deleted the bookmark from my tabs.

Thank you for starting up again. This blog helps me get through each and every day knowing I'm not alone.

I remember nothing at all before last year. Sometimes I fear that I will completely forget my friends. So when you say "Do you remember that time in high school" ... no, I don't remember. I'm just lying when I smile and agree.

When I can't make everything all better for you, I feel like a failure, as a friend and as a person. I want everything to be perfect in your life, and somehow I feel like I should be able to give you that.

I won't date you because I'm sleeping with someone who's really good in bed.

I keep hoping, if I'm patient enough, that you'll want me again...but I don't know what my answer will be if that happens.

I don't care if it's the 21st century, that does not make it okay to make all dating communication through texts and facebook... pick up the fucking phone. K, thanks.

Dear Guys at Carolina,

I just want to tell you how fucking lucky you are. You should stop being assholes and date these hott, smart, awesome girls before you get into the real world and realize how lucky you actually were. Because honestly, you just don't have that much going for you.

I wish I had as much confidence as people think I do. I hate hiding my sexuality.

i'm worried i'll end up alone.

I still don't know what to do with all the time we used to spend gchatting.

The number of people that I can stand being around is quickly diminishing. I'm getting worried that I'll have no one to talk to in a few months.

A part of me wants to know how we can admit that we're in love with each other, yet we need to go back to "friend" mode because we just can't do the long-distance thing.

The other part of me knows exactly why and knows that it's the right decision. We can still talk, but it's not the same, and I know you feel just as horribly about the situation.

I am scared that no one will ever love me. All my friends have been getting engaged and I still haven't found anyone yet. Am I a bad friend for being depressed/slightly jealous when I go to my friend's bridal showers and when I see pictures of the happy couple? I feel horrible but it makes me wonder when my turn will come.

I fantasize about a friend in one of my classes. I don't know if there's tension between us or I have lost it completely.

I don't think the election for SBP matters. It is a popularity contest.