Comment Here to Submit a Secret 1/31/09

i know we're friends, but I want to be more...

When I'm walking to class, I Play a game where I see how many people i can get to smile with my smile. I hope it makes someone's day better.

I read academic blogs every day waiting for a professor to complain about me.

I hate seeing you around campus. You just remind me of how stupid and nervous I acted when we were dating.

I'm not going to give up on you. I love you and miss you too much to do that.

I kept telling myself that I'd stay in it until you broke it off. It wasn't working, and I knew it, but I loved you so much that I left it up to you. And that's exactly what happened-- you broke it off. Now you're dating someone else and are under the impression that I'm fine: that we're friends.

Comment Here to Submit a Secret 1/29/09

I need to stop being so mean to you. I'm just waiting for the day when you call me out on it and stop being my friend.

Until I know decisively if we have another chance or not, anyone I date is just a stand in, or a tryst. You're so far away, but I haven't given up. It's pathetic.

I freaked out a bit for several weeks after this blog was supposed to come back online and never did. I felt like I lost my connection to Carolina. I gave up after a few months and deleted the bookmark from my tabs.

Thank you for starting up again. This blog helps me get through each and every day knowing I'm not alone.

I remember nothing at all before last year. Sometimes I fear that I will completely forget my friends. So when you say "Do you remember that time in high school" ... no, I don't remember. I'm just lying when I smile and agree.

When I can't make everything all better for you, I feel like a failure, as a friend and as a person. I want everything to be perfect in your life, and somehow I feel like I should be able to give you that.

I won't date you because I'm sleeping with someone who's really good in bed.

I keep hoping, if I'm patient enough, that you'll want me again...but I don't know what my answer will be if that happens.

I don't care if it's the 21st century, that does not make it okay to make all dating communication through texts and facebook... pick up the fucking phone. K, thanks.

Dear Guys at Carolina,

I just want to tell you how fucking lucky you are. You should stop being assholes and date these hott, smart, awesome girls before you get into the real world and realize how lucky you actually were. Because honestly, you just don't have that much going for you.

I wish I had as much confidence as people think I do. I hate hiding my sexuality.

i'm worried i'll end up alone.

I still don't know what to do with all the time we used to spend gchatting.