Saturday, March 29, 2008
Here at this school, where so many people succeed and are just brilliant and amazing and talented; I feel so lucky to be here, surrounded by such awesomeness.
I ask myself:
How did I get here? I am not worthy of this school.
Why am I here?
And why haven't I quit yet when the thought crosses my mind every morning before I head for breakfast, and every evening when I finish classes feeling like I failed, once again, to show this school I have some, if not a minuscule amount of talent.
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2 comments:
I completely understand where you're coming from. When I first came here I withdrew within the first 2 weeks because I was scared half to death, mostly due to being away from home. I was smart in high school, near the top of the class, but I'm sure we all were to be here. Then I come here and I barely pass half of my classes, especially the sciences, if I even pass at all. I know I won't get into the professional school I always dreamed of applying to because of my poor performance here, and my GPA is in the toilet even for transferring to another school. So I'll be leaving here after this semester to try to find another way to reach my dream. I love Chapel Hill, part of my heart will remain here, in addition to my blood, sweat, and (oh so many) tears. But there comes a time when dreams meet reality and you have to do what you have to do to achieve them and forget how badly you wanted to go to this prestigeous school, for whatever reasons, and do what's right for YOU. I'm glad I'm learning that now.
i feel that exact same way, every single day, even worse in recent weeks, for lots of reasons. and i've spent so much of my time in college bound and gagged by this self-doubt and depression.
i'm sorry you feel the way you do, i know it's an awful, horrible feeling, but know that you're not alone, and that i don't think you're worthless. you at the very least have a keen way of expressing yourself, and that's worth a lot. ..
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