You know how you've been nasty to me since the day you started dating him? Getting all snarky and acting like you're better than me, because you snagged the guy I wanted.

Guess what: he's been sleeping with me for the past year, months before he even met you. And you two have been dating since fall and haven't done more than kiss. You say it's because he recognizes what a respectable and decent woman you are. Really, it's because he finds you repulsive. But you're rich and eager to support his hobbies, so he'll play along for now. Guess what, I WIN.