I would take you back in one second despite what you've done.

I used to hate myself. Then I came to carolina and learned to love myself. I fear I have relapsed...

Comment Here to Submit a Secret 6/24/08

I feel so connected to you all who post here. Thank you for helping me not feel so alone. :)

whenever i hear you talk about how hot some girl is i facebook stalk her and try to figure out what makes her so much better than me.

I have lost a ton of weight and accepted the fact that I am gay, but I still look in the mirror and see that fat, unattractive, and closeted person I was. I guess my closet was bigger than I thought. I want a relationship and I want someone to hold and fall asleep with but I don't see myself as good enough for that. How can I learn to like myself?

When you fall out of love with your current boyfriend like you did me, you should realize that the kind of love you want to last your whole life is not possible for anyone. And maybe then you'll try at us again.

im scared


im scared im falling too fast
im scared of what will happen come fall
im scared that im no longer completely in control
im scared im not good enough
im scared ill fuck things up



please make it worth it

I didn't expect to see you that night, when I did see you I was worried it would be a terrible night. It wasn't--I haven't had that much fun all summer. Now I only wish I had made out with you...

No one knows that I'm suicidal.

Life away from Chapel Hill is missing a very palpable something. While its not torture for me to be in this home which isn't even mine since my parents move, I feel as though life will be significantly better once I can get back to campus. At this point, I actually want to have classes, I want to learn, I want to excel. So I guess the lack of accomplishment is what really gets to me out here.

I am happy. I like the path my life is on.

I only wish you had wanted to journey there with me.

Hey, snotty little brat at my internship.

Don't you dare knock UNC because your program is specialized.

I'm so glad that you have all of these classes that teaches you everything you need to know, but that's all you'll ever know. Personally, I'd like to EXPAND my horizons. Thank you.

Oh, and by the way? Yes. Basketball IS important, asshole.

I'm reinventing myself this summer. It's going well with all the people who are seeing the slow gradual changes, but I'm scared about what happens in the fall when I am suddenly a very different person.

i dont understand why i dont have any fucking friends. is it them? or is it me?

When I wrote "I love you" on a road sign today, I meant you, and I have for the last years and probably will for the next few to come. You've moved on and you're happy. Just know I'm somewhere wishing you well.

what i cant tell you:
your voice is sexy and its adorable how tall you are. every time we look at each other i want to do what our eyes say.

but its not going to happen.


thank you for this

I could see us growing old together. Please let us have another chance one day.

I was never that prince you read about in fairy tales.
I Was NEver That PRInce You Read About In Fairy Tales.
I WAS NEVER THAT PRINCE YOU READ ABOUT IN FAIRY TALES!!!


...all I can do is try, but that's never been good enough now has it?

Comment Here to Submit a Secret 6/23/08

I have a 1.891 and i don't think I'll be able to come back to UNC in the fall. I've never been so sick in my life...

how can i tell my parents that i was so close to a 2.0 but wasn't good enough to cut it? who can i talk to that will help?... i need help

Why is it so hard to fall in love

I wish you had told me and I didn't have to ask.


You could have done a lot better. I'll give you some credit for trying, but maybe next time just do better.

i'm cheating on my girlfriend. i don't know how to stop and i feel so guilty.

tomorrow is my last night in chapel hill, and i want to spend it with you.

i hope you realize how much that would mean to me. and how much YOU mean to me...

I hate being home. I hate my conservative Christian family. I hate that I can't tell them I'm atheist. I hate that I can't even list 'atheist' as my religious views on Facebook, out of fear it will get back around to them.

Why the hell do I care so much? Why must I tiptoe around their prejudice?

We stopped talking and sometimes I wonder if you're ok. I feel like I fixed a lot of problems that you came upon and also I understood you best of all. Are you doing ok without having me to vent to and give you hugs?

I miss the person you were when I could help you and solve your problems. I am glad to be away from the person you had recently become.

Be that old person again and we could be friends.

Comment Here to Submit a Secret 6/19/08

I went through some of your pictures on facebook today like I have done for months since we've broken up and I realize that I don't want you. You're not even as attractive as I used to think you were. You're a self-absorbed, narcissistic liar and I can do way better.

i wanna be on you.

i look at you and my heart beats faster. and it scares me, because i don't think this is right. i'm scared to get my hopes up.

but i see that smile of yours and your eyes lock with mine and i'm instantly assured.

I pick and flick.

I feel like I'd be really good at writing porn.

I always make up movies in my head, anyway.

I haven't had sex in a month and a half now, and I feel like I'm going crazy. Now I know what you have been feeling like for the past semester or so. I'm so sorry. At the same time, I hope you're not sleeping around this summer, like I know you wanted to do.

Comment Here To Submit A Secret 6/18/08

theres a thing between us. i dont know what it is, but i like it.

i know we are right for eachother i just know it.

i just hope you know it too.

For the most part, I'm glad we decided not to talk anymore. It was the right thing for both of us. Last night, though, I had a really hard time dealing with my life without you to make things better. Have you missed me at all?

I love you. And you love me. I couldn't be happier. Only 8 weeks until we're back in Chapel Hill. I hope it goes fast because I miss you like crazy.

I don't know if I like you because I like you, or if it's because it's convenient. I really need to figure it out before I start throwing myself into things for you.

I take back what I said. Over the last couple of weeks, I realized that I deserve someone that knows what they want. I'm not going to wait for you to make up your mind. It's too late.

I'll never be able to forgive you for driving home drunk the other week. I see you as a completely different person now.

I'm drunk and alone. I know no one really cares.

Our friendship is worth nothing to you. I know this, you know this. If I dropped dead this instant you'd forget about me quickly. Stop pretending.

Every time things end between me and a guy (relationship, hookup, whatever) he immediately finds someone else and enters a committed, long term relationship.

I'm still single, and really beginning to think I'm cursed.

I am a very political person, and I always have been. I am liberal, but come from a very conservative area. When I finally gained the strength to voice my opinions to those closest to me, they attacked me and my views to the point that I started to think that they see me as only a "goddamn democrat" than the person they knew, loved, respected, and supported for years. I haven't changed a bit.

The experience has sickened me to the point of virtual apathy. I have always hated it when people were apathetic about something with the potential to cause great change.

Plus, I am going into the upcoming year with a big leadership title in a prevalent political organization on campus.

I told her "just hang on one more night." It didn't work, but she still lived. But I feel like she didn't make it, and now I don't know how many "one more night"s I have left myself. And I feel like a selfish hypocrite for telling her that and not being able to do it myself.

I just found out (through means that I am not necessarily proud of) that he and you were romancing behind my back before you broke up with me.

We were together for so long and I loved you more than anything I have ever known--Then you showed me none of the respect I deserved, and hid your despicable actions from me while you said you were being completely honest. Well now I know, and maybe it will help me get over you sooner, because the last few months have been excruciating, at the worst of times.

To think I thought you were the one, even at such a young age.

How could you do that to the person you loved the most? I'll never understand, and I hope it gnaws at you every time you are romantically slighted in the future.

You better not be just like them. You just might be the one who breaks my faith in men and love completely. Sad part is, I never thought I would get to this point. What the hell do I do now?

Please start taking responsibility for your own actions. You're running out of excuses, and possibly friends to blame things on.

Comment Here to Submit a Secret 6/16/08

i miss you so much but i think i've irreparably damaged our second chance.

is this really the end?

Now that we've had sex, please don't forget about me.

:(

I keep my fingernail clippings in a bottle. Sometimes I take them out and play with them. I know its weird, but for some reason it makes me feel good.

i've been facebook stalking friends of friends who live in the city I'm moving to...just to see if anyone can hook me up :-)

I graduated, but it still hasn't hit me I'm not moving back to Chapel Hill in August.

I'm pretty sure that's the only reason I've been able to hold it together thus far.

i had a thing with my high school teacher

everytime i am around you i get hornier and hornier. i just want you to acknowledge me as a lover. will you ever?

i masturbate a lot.

i told you because you seemed trustworthy, because of all people i thought you'd understand.

i'm not sure how many more times i can handle violations of trust before i completely lose my faith in humanity. there's only so much hope one can have, and it's fading fast.

my definition of love changes with each new person i date.

Comment Here to Submit a Secret 6/15/08

I suppose its only fitting to find out a secret about my late father a few days before fathers day. Knowing that it wasn't heart disease that killed him is a relief, but knowing the true cause hurts almost as bad as my own worry for my heart.

I have such a crush on you. I want to talk to you all day long.

if there was a way for people to see the number of times i've looked at their facebook profile i would be mortified.

the first guy i've wanted to cheat on is the first one who doesn't deserve it.

went to the gynecologist for the first time a couple days ago. She knew I was a virgin, because I told her so. And yet... not particularly gentle, that woman.

I hate that the first thing ever to penetrate me is a piece of cold and indifferent steel.

My worst fear in life is losing my parents. Seeing them get older and not be able to do things that they used to hurts me. I know that I will not be able to live my life without either one of them. They are the ONLY people in my life that have been a constant and I am starting to believe that no one will ever love me as much as they love me. I know this is awful but I pray that God takes me away before he takes them away because my life is worthless without the love that they give me.

I feel so much better having talked and gotten all that off my chest. You were wrong when you said it would be better to just keep it all quiet, and I don't regret it one bit.

(...so what happens now?)

Happy Father's Day. I wish last time we talked it didn't feel like we were just doing it out of obligation instead of actual love & respect.

I'm going to make you mine.

I know I barely know you, and it may take a while, but it's gunna happen.

hope you're ready.
;)

make the first move.

Comment Here To Submit A Secret 6/15/08

I was incredibly sick last week and was throwing up all the time. Now, I feel better, but I keep throwing up anyway. I'm terrified that this means I'm getting an eating disorder.

Whenever I talk to you, all that comes out is jibberish. Your smile reduces me to a middle-schooler!

I've never been so afraid to lose someone. Knowing you has made me better, and for that I know you're different.

But I've never had to be so far from someone that means so much to me, and the jealousy of the new people in your new life hurts more than I can say.

...and for once, I really have no idea what to do.

I just... I just want this to be easier.

i hate how you judge girls. all of you. it's not fair.

i know i will never be "that girl" but i do hope that i am decent-looking enough to have a chance with you.

i honestly believe i would like you this much no matter what you looked like and that pisses me off.

i can't believe you're gay... we just had sex! i think you might be using that as a way out of following up!

we're engaged but i dont want to marry you anymore

i want you to aggressively take advantage of me... just do it!!

Sometimes I feel tired of you, of this relationship. But my brain informs me that's only fleeting and I love you. You're the most honorable person I've ever met & we're incredible together.

So why do my doubts keep growing babums?

I tried. I really did. But I fell in love with you. Even though you already have a boyfriend who gets angry when your flaws come out, can't handle your family, and is so temperamental that you're afraid to call him sometimes. I promised myself I wouldn't do it, but maybe one day she'll see in me what everyone says is there. Unless they're lying.

The guy my ex was talking to just listed himself as 'complicated' on facebook. It seems inconsequential, I have no information to go on, and yet I'm still feeling sick because of it.

The only thing I want more than being able to get over you is for you to take me back.

Comment Here to Submit a Secret 6/14/08

I finally feel fulfilled and happy with my work for the first time in my life. My faith in humanity has been restored. It's such a good feeling!

I want to be skinny so badly. I walk around thinking about how many calories I'm burning and when I can eat again. When I do eat, I eat so much it hurts...then feel guilty. I want to be better and eat normally, but I'm terrified of being fat.

It's easier when I'm drunk.

I love you more with every moment, and I can never be with you long enough. You're everything good. We talked everything through, and I was happy.

So why can't I stop thinking about it, what you said a few weeks ago? Why does it [still] hurt to think that, maybe, you aren't straight?

I don't want to go back to UNC next semester. This summer made me realize I'm burned out and getting a little indifferent. I will reclaim some inspiration before August. I have so much to appreciate and don't want to take it for granted...

Comment Here to Submit a Secret 6/13/08

It's been almost a year, I'm over you.

So why did it hurt so much to see a picture of you and her on fb vacationing where you always promised to take me?

I never know whether to feel happy or insulted when my ex starts dating a less attractive girl after me.

I'm prettier but she has him...who wins?

i think we might get married one day.

and i cannot think of a single thing that would make me happier.

i wish i didn't miss you so much.

i really want to have sex with you before i leave...

i may be bicurious...i'm scared

you are selfish and dont care about your friends--i cant wait until others see the real you, too

i finally understand how it feels, how things should be. I've never fallen so fast for somebody and it's scaring the life out of me. I just got a taste of not having you around and the effect it had on me is terrifying. Please don't be like the others, they broke a small piece of me but you would break so much more.

i think i just realized that i'm afraid to be happy